When Wayne was here, we ended up talking about random things. He asked me if I felt any different after graduating. And it literally took me a few seconds to say that I feel no different at all. I haven't accomplished anything. College doesn't feel any different. Well in a sense, but at the same time, I'm slacking so much. And I don't even know why. I was doing such a great job. And it's not that ever since I started to hang out with Alma, Alex, Alexa, Dallas and Niki at the time, they influenced me. Maybe they did a little bit but that's all on me.
Niki and I talked about how we wished we were good at something. Whether it be photography, art, music, etc. Like I really do wish I could do photography. I wish I had the money to just buy a Nikon D40 and take a beginning Photo class. I totally forgot to sign up for it and it's full already. Plus I have no money to buy a new camera anyways. I'm not great at taking photos, but I can say I do a decent job for just have a digital camera. I really wish I understood grasping the subject in ways with just a picture. I find such beauty in so many photos and I wish I could do that. It is a goal I'll pursue eventually. But it's not something that I know I'm great at. At least Niki has poker. I really don't have anything to seriously say yeah, I'm fucken good at it. Maybe I don't know my potential, but I really don't know.
I feel like I'm failing and just wasting money going to college. I don't even know what I want to do anymore. As much as I want to do psychology, it's just hard to go through with it. Nursing involves like 10 biology classes. And I have to go to a different school to pursue EMT. It's a shame they don't get paid much. I don't know what to doooo.
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