I Don't Know How... But They Found Me

Heh, I forgot about this blog. So I guess the only update from the last blog is, I did get that promotion. Not quite the raise yet because corporate is a piece of shit. So far it doesn't seem like I'm wow-ing my general manager, but wow-ing my other managers. Well I know Mr. Winn is very subtle and not keen on celebrating anything, so I guess that's good enough for me. Plus I'm getting over 40 hours a week with overtime, so I R HAPPEH.

Yeah, I have a boyfriend that I've kept secret about for several months only because work relations is not fond of obviously. But I kind of just didn't tell anyone about it period. Why? I don't know. I don't like discussing my personal life when contact is lost with everyone.

I finally bought myself a laptop that I ended up exchanging at the end of the month because Spore wouldn't work on it. And low and behold, this one I just got in exchange does not charge when I plug in the adapter. Yay.

So my mom is taking a month vacation to California starting the 8th. So I have the condo all to myself. Life is good. Then for the week of Thanksgiving, I have to house-sit for my sister while she's out of town. Surround sound Rock Band will be excellent.

This weather is so amazing.

Oh, Hoobastank was pretty cool on Thursday. Haven't seen them in years. Wish I had my camera.

Linkin Park tomorrow though. If it weren't for Alma, I wouldn't have known about this free concert.

Btw, I am sucking at this semester. I kind of don't really care about school right now. Reason may be the fact that I still don't know what the fuck I want to do and it's such a drag just forcing myself to go there. Plus I hate English.

Alex, the boyfriend, has already looked up some apartments. I guess it was weird for me to even comprehend that because it was never something I thought about, looked into or even considered anytime soon. But then I realized I'm 19. I kind of planned to just finish college before I move since I'm paying for everything and etc. And I figured I'd be moving out with Jessica. I kind of just included her into the future plans anyways.

Oh and what makes me happy is seeing Andrew's faxes to our office from Dollar Loan Center. :]

Start Everyday With A Smile. Get It Over With. - Mr. Anderson

There's just so much to say. So much going on. There's no beginning and no end to what's been happening in the past 2-3 months that I haven't blogged about. Work has completely taken over my life and has affected me in the most negative way possible. I've never been so irritated, hurt and stressed out in my life before. But I can't stop. I can't quit. As much as I want to, I just can't.

Slowly I'm losing touch with myself and I can't get out of this huge hole I've put myself into. I miss my friends. I miss being lazy. I miss sleeping. I miss having a life.

I just want to be appreciated. I want that promotion. I want that raise. I want a lot but it's going at such a slow pace, I don't know if I have the patience for it anymore. Fuck though, I want it badly.

One by one they're getting ill and here I am, selfish me, working 80 hours a week to keep focused and block anything else non-work related out.

I feel like I'm using him as well. Maybe as a safety net or a comfort zone just so I don't have to go home and feel guilty about every time I just walk in straight to my room, then pass out. Why I don't take the time to just sit down and talk to her.

Why am I the way I am right now? What made me this way? Do I blame work? Do I just blame myself for changing my ways?

I don't even know what I want exactly. What I want to do. Should I even go? I'm just wasting money. Countless dollars being put towards some goal that I can't quite achieve because I haven't chosen a path yet. Why am I so indecisive?

Being 19 has only made me feel older than I should be. More exhausted, strained and useless. More like a robot who can't stop what I'm programmed to do.

Ludeness with a 14 year old girl or younger

For some reason that keeps replaying in my head when my CRJ teacher was talking about sex offenders today. We were looking at the Nevada sex offender's website where you can enter in your zip code and it shows you if they're in your area. But for some reason, most of the people on there were convicted of ludeness with a young teen.

Anyways. I decided to make a list of goals to do by summer's end, and one of them is to do some serious cleaning. Like get rid of shit that I really don't need. I have to learn to throw shit away that I don't need at all. I kind of want to toss out furniture too.

So while I took a break from cleaning, I got caught up in MySpace and started looking at the connections of my co-workers to people I actually know. Then it got to people from the graduating class of Spring Valley. For some reason, it made me really happy to see some people are still coupled and look happier than ever. Seriously, if people can come out of high school and still be going strong, props to them. But then I thought about how they go to the same college, so then I thought, maybe that's the only reason why.

Then I saw how several people turned out to be major party go-ers and drunks. It just reminded me of this article I saw in the Rebel Yell about how companies look at the applicant's MySpace's and Facebook's and base their decision off of what they see. So it just makes me wonder if these people will get anywhere with all their fucked up pictures plastered all over the internet. And low and behold, they're either not going to college or they're going to CSN. These were the kids who were known for their achievements in sports or popularity. Makes me wonder about what direction I'm headed to since I still have not a clue.

Take Only What You Need From Me

Micro SD USB adapter is my savior. Yeeee.

I forgot about Crista's birthday :x

I got a stiletto from David for my birthday. One of those knives that when you push a button, it flips out. I'm scared that one day I'm going to slip and fall onto it.

If you want to watch a comedy in theatres as of now, watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It tops Harold and Kumar and Baby Mama to the extreme.

Ariel called me and apologized. It was most awkward. But I guess we're friends again. It's been like half a year to a year of no conversation with her.

My GM decided to let the employees view big movies prior to the actually release of it. So this Thursday at 9:30am I'll be watching Iron Man. Chyeaaaaa. I'm excited cause I hate sitting in crowded theatres.

My sister has been here for the past 5-6 days and it's been dreadful. I can never find where my things are. But I guess at least my room is clean.

I don't really blog in here mainly because I've actually been doing it by hand. More like first thoughts or about things that puzzle me at the time. It's nice to carry a notebook everywhere I go and when something pops up in my head, I can write it down.

My neighbors upstairs woke me up to this beat. I followed it and felt it was a good tune until someone started singing. :(

Okay I hope this entry was meaningless enough.

I Fly Like Paper Get High Like Planes

Who got a new job? I did.

I blew them away with my mad typing skillz. I was kind of surprised I didn't get type shy and broke 100wpm. So pewpew points for me. Not sure exactly what I'm going to be getting paid but for sure $10/hr cause of my last realty job. Looks like they're willing to pay me more because I have to travel so far to get to them. But yeah, I'm super stoked. Maybe it was a good thing I waited this long to get a job. Chyea.

Oh and I'm super pro at making spam musubi's now. I'm super happy with being able to make something now.

I actually have some music on my phone only because of Noel's bluetooth on his computer. I'm wasting hella money on sd cards and adapters that don't even work. Oh well.

I watched Forbidden Kingdom twice in one day. Not like I wanted to.. more like forced. Good movie though. Surprised me since I wasn't planning on watching it.

So now I have to pull some more skillz again like I always do and get my against capital punishment out of the way by 8:30am tomorrow.

Oh and I got pulled over the other day after my friend was saying how he read his horoscope and how it said to be beware of the law. I was lucky that it was just my tags that were expired and not for some other ticket. Funny how I just paid off my ticket earlier that day. Apparently you can pay it over the phone which is wonderful. Oh and I almost got into an accident yesterday cause people are extremely impatient and decided to go at the last minute. I was so upset and I had my family in the car with me. So yeah I'm not really feeling the whole driving thing these past few days, but at least nothing major is happening.

Fail

I still haven't finished picking my classes. I am truly pushing a lot of limits. Like my seatbelt ticket that's due on the 29th. I think I'm just going to drive down tot he courthouse tomorrow to pay it off before school. That may be the plan.

I think work and school is finally taking its toll on me. I'm started to feel the pressure and exhaustion a little more often now. Even though work has been pretty peachy. Even with all the major movies coming out and huge rushes, it's quite peachy. Even my GM is peachy. Though I have 3 days off starting now so I'm going to take advantage of it. Somehow.

Though I've been calling in or requesting my days off at Hollister. My last paycheck was like 48 dollars haha. I learned my main manager from there quit and transferred to A&F to take over his new wife's position. Interesting I suppose. I liked that guy, so that's a damn shame.

I feel like I'm slipping away. More like I'm super slacking. I look at my room and I just don't even give a fuck, but seriously, it's so gross and un-liveable. I can't even walk through my room without tripping over shit every 5 inches.

And I've come to realize today I'm way out of shape. I'm really letting myself go. I'm not joking. I'm scared to weigh myself now because I'm fitting pants that I shouldn't be fitting and I'm sad.

Good news is, a co-worker of mine is trying to hook me up with a job. His cousin is a realtor and I'll be the assistant and pretty much do data entry. If I can land this job, I'll be so fucken happy. I'd love to go back to an office job. And since I can type fast and with like 98 percent accuracy, why the fuck not? haha. He was saying at the most, I'll be getting paid 10 and his girlfriend was like THATS A LOT. I kind of laughed since that's how much I was getting paid before, but I guess yeah, it is compared to the shit we get from the theatre.

Which brings me to, I don't know if I'm ever going to be promoted to an assistant manager. From what I can tell, they're already training Andrew because I never see him do work at all. I only see him stand around and watch and evaluate. Why am I not doing that? Actually, why aren't the other supervisors doing that? They have one of the dudes kind of do a lot of work, but he's leaving in a month. So none of the girls are getting priveleges and from what it seems, they're trying to demote one of the supervisors. Uh okay.

Oh yeah, and I've been in super bitch mode to Andrew at work. I've been on a roll with it until yesterday when I decided to smoke with Jessica since it was 4/20, harhar. We went to go watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall, which btw is hysterical, and I guess I was in such a good mood, I decided to say hi to Andrew. Why? I don't even know. I was in the ignoring/fuck you mode earlier that day too. I suck. So he thinks everythings all good and peachy but then today I was super bitch again. Now he's been texting me and I think he wants to meet up with me to talk about my bi-polar behavior. Ha.

Since I'm not giving him attention and talking to the other co-workers, that are dudes, at work, he's been hasseling them and being super douchebag mode with them. I am ruining work for everyone. I feel awful. I wonder what's going to happen when his ass becomes assistant manager.

So anywho, I just came back from watching Stephen Lynch at UNLV and let me just say, it was hysterical. He's a master of song writing. He truly is.

I was mad that I could've won a $100 gift card to some book store. Literally 1 number away. I was anticipating that last digit to be 5, but no, it was a 4. Oh how upset I was.

"I'm the Halocast and you're my frightened Jew." - The Kickass Sidekick Song

Pandora

I really don't know what to update about.

Things have been kind of grim. Maybe not grim. I don't even know what I'm talking about.

How about movies I've seen..

Drillbit Taylor - Quite hilarious.
The Ruins - Don't watch it. Unless I let you in for free, forget paying for that shit.
Leatherheads - Very cute. John Krasinksi is hot. But I enjoyed the movie and laughed several times.
Never Back Down - Surprisingly alright. More into it for the fight scenes.
Appleseed - Graphics were sick. A bit sappy at some parts but it was alright.

Wasn't late for the first time in English last Friday. It was nice to see the shocked faces and mouths drop.

So, my co-worker, Noel, kind of confessed his feelings for me. I turned him down. Why is there so many problems at work. Everyone is driving me insane. The second I decide to hang out with someone ONCE outside of work, all hell breaks loose and then I'm fucked.

I feel like such a shitty person for not pursuing anything with anyone yet I still hang out with them acting as if we're just best friends, when I know very well they're hoping I change my mind all of a sudden. I bet it's driving them crazy.

Oh and I'm utterly pissed the fuck off that I didn't get to see MUCC at the Taste Of Chaos tour. I just didn't want to be paying 35-40 bucks just to sit on my ass in the balcony.

I'm sure you guys are sick of me bitching but I need a new job. Today was the first time I worked on register cause I kept pestering the assistant manager for it. So now I think I'm ready to go find a new retail job haha.

I hope Rave lets me proofread all the shit they do. First I get lectured about getting everyone's schedules cause they shouldn't be relying on me. But if it weren't for me, I wouldn't have caught a huge mistake they made on the schedule. So ohohohohohohoh.

Oh and I have the HUGE 21 poster from the theatre. I don't quite know what to do with it cause it's so huge. Hmmm.

Quote of the day at Hollister:
Stock Manager: Hey Charlene Fannnnn... You look pissed.
Me: I'm hella tired.
Stock Manager: Why is that? Did you party last night? Did you drink? A party with lots of alcohol? Sex, drugs and rock n' roll?
Me: Yeah, all of that and more.
Assistant Manager: .......... O_O. Did you really?
Me: ::gives a weird look then chuckles:: NO!
Assistant Manager: Oh..
Stock Manager: ::laughs:: Wait, you thought she was serious?

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner

Just saw 21 tonight. :] I'm quite pleased. And I love that intro song. Everytime I clean theatres or walk past a 21 theatre, I hear it and sing along. It's just great.

I loved Darjeeling Limited.

Passed out during Casshern. First time ever seen a Japanese Sci-Fi. It was fucken weird.

I watched Shutter and to be honest, it wasn't all that bad. But if you want to be scared, it isn't the movie to watch. It was more of a suspense type movie cause I didn't budge at all. And yeah, I watched it alone.

The Other Boelyn Girl was pretty good. It was a very different role for Natalie Portman and I think she portrayed the biggest bitch great. I think the crying was a bit excessive but she was good. Jim Sturgess was in there as well. Mmmm mmm hot.

I hate English class with a passion. My teacher is going to drop me a letter grade if I'm late once again.

My computer is taking the hugest pile of shit on me but my co-worker, Amanda, let me borrow her Norton and it looks like shits getting way better.

I have some manager/supervisor 8:30am meeting today so I'm hoping it's a breakfast :]

I got half of my raise so far so I don't know whats up with that.

I worked at Hollister at 6am all week and now I'm kind of stuck waking up that early.

I went to San Diego with Ron, Niki, Alexa and Mike for 2 days over spring break. It was fun and I passed out a lot. Note to self: If I ever need to recall back to those two days, refer to Niki's blog.

One of my co-workers, Noel, wanted to gather some of us to go bowling. I mentioned that I was in Cali and I guess no one wanted to go without me. Haha cute. So on Friday night we went. It was pretty fun.

I yelled at Mr. Anderson over the phone cause I was pissed about him scheduling me for a 9pm-12:30am shift on that upcoming Thursday night since I had an 8:30am class the next day with an essay due.

Today I stayed an hour overtime to help stock up cause we got busy out of nowhere. So now I get to choose my schedule next week. Except it's been pretty much what I wanted for the past few months. Oh well. Maybe I can choose where to work. That'd be great.

Oh yeah, I trained 3 people on Friday on floor staff and 1 other dude in box office on Saturday. I actually really like these new people. I'm so glad they're willing to work.

It really looks like Amanda will be the next supervisor. Good for her. So maybe the next time they decide to do promotions, I'll be an assistant manager. Except I think when I get promoted, I won't be able to hang out with my co-workers outside of work. Cause apparently that's considered as fratenizing..... Which also brings up how I tried to recommend my sister's boyfriend to be a manager. Got shot down cause I know him too well. Bullshit I say. He has every quality to be a manager because of past experience and he'd blow those two new managers out of the water. Blah. I feel bad cause he and my sister are in a really tough rut right now. So maybe I'll just have him apply and act like I've never met him before.

I got a new cell phone finally if I didn't mention that in older entries. I pay for the phone bill now for my Mom and I. It's really nice to finally be able to help out with something. Insurance doesn't count since it's for me but I wanted to help out in some department. Though my Mom isn't really feeling the whole two job thing cause I'm always tired.

Oh and I officially dropped Japanese class. What a waste of money. Meh.

I don't know what else to update on since I have to be up in about 5 hours. Soooo yep.

The Fad

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/03/13/australia.springsteen/index.html

el oh el.




Updates:

I've officially been promoted to the supervisor position at Rave. Go me.

There has been this big event for movie directors, producers, companies and theatres called Showest. Some events were held at our theatre. Thus, I've met some Dreamworks executives today. I gave them all free food/drinks. Fun talking to them.

In addition to that, I met Katzenberg. He's the CEO of Dreamworks. I didn't know who the hell he was by the name but when I saw him, I went ohhh. Kind of cool. Then a bunch of these Asian tourists came in. I think they took a picture of me at the concession. It was awkward. One of them even laid out the packets from the condiment station and took a picture of it. Why they want a picture of mayo, mustard and ketchup is beyond me.

On top of this, we've had corporate at the theatre all week. It's been hectic and bullshit because they're anal about everything and all the managers are stressing us out. Everything has been in tip top shape and ridiculously clean. I wonder if we'll keep that up from now on. Kind of nice to not walk on popcorn in the concessions.

Dropping Japanese. Picking up more hours for work hopefully. Mainly if I can even wake up for a 7am shift.

Been hanging out with Andrew a lot. Not exactly sure why. Now everyone thinks we're dating but we're not. Sorry I have a friend who I can watch movies with now whenever I want. But then we end up talking outside for hours and I don't even know about what. Mostly work related, but whatever, that's how our friendship goes.

Did I mentioned I just wasted like 180 texts today between him. Maybe 20 of which to other people. I plan on getting unlimited text finally. Tired of going over 1 text cause someone decides to send me one at the last minute before the restart of the month.

I guess I'm going to Gogol Bordello with Noel. I really don't want to but I feel bad about him not finding anyone else to go with. Meh. I hope it won't be awkward.

I hate English right now. It's a major waste of my time.

I'm only working 3 days this week surprisingly. I only requested 2 days off for that Cali trip but I guess. Kind of nice to have Friday off. That Horton Hears A Who will kick the theatres ass and I don't want to be there working. Though I don't think Friday will be as bad as the other days. At least corporate won't be there.

10,000 B.C. was alright. So was The Bank Job. But I think I liked Bank Job better.

My car got towed from my own home cause I parked in the red. Though I've been parking there for the past 3 months. It was a fun morning. 183.75 for the bail. I hate my management. I bitched them out to the fullest. I wish they would fucken help me pay for it or give me money that I could've gotten from working. Faggots.

Lots of concerts coming up. Must go.

Gotta get a smog test and oil change. Maybe Friday or Tuesday will be my days to seriously get errands done.

Oh yeah Yan's in town. She found me working at Hollister.

I wonder if Wayne's in town? Probably not cause of money but I wonder if he'd tell me he was here.

Clarity

Last night I just learned about my sister's struggling financial problem and that my Mom is going to the doctors again.

Fuck.

Never Thought About The Shame

I was literally trapped in a box today. Thus, I brought English homework and did it. So I got that accomplished.

I guess there's a meeting tomorrow for just the new supervisors at 8pm cause I suck with my schedule. Woo. Fancy.

So remember Sara? The bitch ass manager from Hollister. Yeah, I almost quit today because of that stupid whore. She was pissed that I went straight to the stock room to work with Jessica cause I didn't check in with her. Blah blah blah. Afterwards she was making the new weeks schedule and asked me about my availability. Like it has been, I'm not available Tues, Thurs, or the weekend. Thus, I work Mon and Wed like how it's been every week, for the past month in a half.

Later on she asks me to check on my schedule to make sure I can work the shift. So I do and see that I'm only scheduled for Mon, one shift. So I ask Sara about why this is and she just SHRUGS. Gives me this bullshit about how based off of my availability, that's why it's like that. And I tell her about that's why I am scheduled Mon and Wed because of it and that's how it's been for the past many weeks. And she just SHRUGS and SMILES and says OH WELL, I'LL KEEP THAT IN MIND FOR LATER ON. Mother fucking cunt. She made the schedule last week and it was fine. She probably noticed she'd be closing with me and didn't want to. It took so much fucking will power to not wring her neck. I made this concerned face. Not happy or sad. Just O_o. Walked away to the stock room and flipped on Jessica. Then I hid in the shelves for like 20 minutes not doing shit. It took so much for me to not walk out of work.

I have to talk to Jared, the general manager. I can't take it anymore. I gotta tell him wtf is up with her and then quit. I'm fucken over that job.

I'm also over Japanese class. Totally failing like a stupid mother fucker. I'm going to have to drop it. Ugh.

I'm so fucking angry yet I'm so happy with how shit's going with Rave. It's like nothing can ever be just great, there's always a balance or just shit.

Well, No Country For Old Men is coming back to my theatre so that makes me happy. So that ups the scale a bit.

Andrew started texting me today and I actually responded. So the scale doesn't move.

My eye infection thing came back. Scale down.

Might have to take some co-workers to the 8:30am meeting on Saturday. Neutral. Only cause they can wake me up since I know I won't. But fuck, 8:30am. And I guess we're watching Vantage Point afterward and then work time for me. Nice how that works out.

Fuck Hollister. They lost all their good managers and is left with some dumb bitch. I fucking hate that place. I'm going to steal their shit and sell it. That's the plan.

On a good note. I actually called and talked to Tiffany and Ron yesterday. Like I straight up talked to them on the phone on my part. It felt nice. It was the first time I did it. I still can't believe how long it took me. But it makes me want to break down and think, wtf kind of friend I am? I never check up on them to see how they're doing. I'm so indulged into my life of work and school. Then again, I don't even give the time of day to my friends in Vegas.

I'm kind of trying to be as independent as possible right now. Trying to earn as much income as I can and saving it. And I don't even know for what. I tell people that I pay for my tuition and car insurance and all this other junk. When in reality, not so much. It's not entirely false, but it's not entirely true either. I just want to know that the money I'm making will go to something important in my future. Whether it be for the place I'll be living in or to fucken whatever. I almost feel like I'm wasting my time at school cause it feels like it's taking forever to get anywhere. Especially with the fact that I don't even know what to do with my life.

Wtf am I talking about? Geezus. My bad.

In The Whirlpool We'll Go Deeper, In This World That's Getting Cheaper

Important stuff to remember:

- I kind of accidentally got Niteai her first written up notice at work. Except, she deserves it because she's fucked up plenty of times. Now she hates my guts :x Then again, I don't even really know her. And she got fired from Hollister too so... lol

- Ms. Mason pulled me aside and told me she's trying to promote 6 people to supervisor and I'm one of them. And my pay increase will jump to $7. Thank goodness, I was going to quit if I only went to $6.50

- I'm totally failing Japanese. Thinking about whether or not if I should drop it or not. Suggestions?

- I skipped a day of school cause I had an infection in my eye, as usual. And I kind of just gave up and didn't want to go. Though, that same day I went to Orleans to watch the Hana Yori Dango movie be made. Thus, I got to see Jun Matsumoto and Inoue Mao. Pew fucking pew. Jun is godly hot. I wish Shun was there. Oh, my life would be fullfilled.

- The next day I went to Orleans again and ate at the buffet with some old friends. After getting kicked out of the conference hallway and being yelled at by crying fangirls, I snapped amazing pictures. Plus, I got to shake Inoue Mao's hand. My friends spoke Japanese to them and I guess she thought we traveled there cause she said "welcome to Las Vegas." and I was like the fuck?

- I need to watch what the fuck No Country For Old Men is about cause it won best motion picture over Blood.

- It's cold. It's hot. It rains.

- There was a lunar eclipse the second night I went to Orleans. I saw it almost covered but kind of forgot about it.

- I got a mp3 player finally if I haven't already mentioned that. So far it's my baby. I even cleaned theatres one day with it and never once turned it off. The battery barely went to half. But looks like there might be some kinks. So far Jessica's screen stopped turning on. Meh.

- I missed both Richard and Cindy's birthday dinners cause of work and was too tired. I'm a bad friend.

- OH. Someone turned in my wallet. I got the letter after buying my new rebel ID for 20 bucks and learning that they dated the letter on the 15th, but didn't mail the letter until the 21st. Thanks. I still haven't obtained the wallet yet either. Hopefully today I'll get it.

- Be Kind, Rewind is a good movie. I'll admit, it's slow and kind of weird but it's so worth it with the remakes they do. Or actually, sweded.

- Definitely, Maybe was good but also was a little meh. I mean I watched it mainly cause it had Ryan Reynolds in it and I love that guy, but I really did like the movie.

- This one night I watched Vince Vaughn's comedy tour thing at my theatre as well. At first I was weirded out by some of the people in the theatre with me who just laughed outloud. But then I ended up joining them because the film was great. It's pretty much buying a DVD of some comedy tour and bits and pieces of their skits and etc. They even had the 'gay kid' from Wedding Crashers. It was great.

- Jermz came to town from Seattle for half a week. Hung out a few times. Pan's 21st birthday as well. It was nice seeing them all. Ryu grew and is so sodigh cute.

- Jermz asked me out the last day before he left and I said sorry and that he lived in Seattle. I don't know why I said that cause I don't think I'd ever date him. It was awkward after that.

- Yesterday my co-worker, Noel, the dude who totally fucked with my CRJ textbook, asked me if I wanted to go to the Gogol Bordello show with him. I said negative and now he wants to buy me a ticket. I wonder if this is compensation for my book. I hope that's his only intention. God work is so awkward.

- Andrew has finally stopped bothering me. So we sometimes talk at work and it's all good. Or at least I think it is.

- I haven't seen Cory in like 3 weeks or something cause of his other job so he doesn't work at Rave, but is still employed.

- I'm almost done with the L Word season 4. Goooooood shit.

- Tired and cold.

- Oh and I met Josh, the screamer/keyboardist from Emery. Mmmm. It was worth running back to my car to retrieve my camera.

We Are Not Who We Appear To Be

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0874423/

Can someone tell me why the fuck they made a movie about Mr. Hands. Yeah, I know you guys know who I'm talking about. The dude with the horse.

I feel sick.

Remember More Than You'd Like To Forget

Things to touch base on.

I guess I never mentioned this, but I got a ticket on January 18, the day I was heading to Beat The Bookstore for the first time. Ticket for what you might ask? For not wearing my seatbelt. Apparently the cop saw me trying to put it on and started tail-gating the hell out of me. Thanks stupid bitch. They just had to be a female. Who the fuck gets pulled over for not wearing their seatbelt? Tell me.

My Mom just came in showing me that she spent about $450 on two pairs of shoes and a purse. And she bitches at me for shopping for too many shirts and etc that cost 10 bucks each >:O

Today's my Dad's birthday. Kind of forgot but remembered when he was calling me. He tried to call me out on it about him having to call me to hear a "happy birthday". HAHA. He ALWAYS forgets my birthday. Douche. After that I pretty much got hate voicemails or calls from him all day cause he couldn't get ahold of my sister. Bitchy on his birthday, cool.

I just realized my parents are fucken old. I think my Mom just turned 57? That means my Dad is...if not by now, pushing 70. Holy fuck.

$200 every month for car insurance. So off with my budget. I'll just really restrain myself from buying shit... after H&M's sale >_>

Maybe I really should see a physician. I don't remember the last time I've been to a regular doctor for a checkup. It's disgusting, but I could never go to a gyno, no matter how much you paid me. Ever since I was told about it at like the age of 12, I've been deathly afraid to go. Now that I can go by myself, I still don't want to go. Besides the fact that they totally violate every sacred part of your body, I think I'm scared what the results might be. Mainly because my Mom and sister is extremely sick now with I don't even know what. They have major medical problems that I still don't understand and I don't want to know that there's something wrong with me, if there is (knock on wood). But seriously, I'm happy going about my days working as hard as I can and all that junk.

Nathan, Kiwi, and more just put in their two weeks notice. Nancy had already quit. Some people just work once a week. If Courtland passes that security test, he'll be gone. All my good co-workers are gone. >:O

Mr. Anderson really toys with my last name. He gave me a candy count sheet with different pictures displaying what a 'fan' might be. Ceiling fan.... those Asian fans that you use to air yourself off with.... I think there was a helicopter on it too. I get put in box office and he says, "I'm sorry for this but... I'm putting you next to the heater." Oh I dread going to work sometimes just to see him pull the cord and swirl his finger around in circular motion in attempt at making the ceiling fan spin. (If you ever do this to me, I will personally sock you in the face.)

Philosophy is getting interesting in the whole constructing valid arguments. I think I'm getting the hang of it.

The Cobra Starship show is fucking SOLD OUT. I'm so fucking angry. I wanted to take pictures of Gabe. sdihgoisdhgsodighoiwh5t3w9yg0ps9dhg

I will go to the Emery show though. That'll be the first time I'll have a picture of them since they're always at HOB. Going with Cathleen... haven't talked to her in months. Kind of cool how we don't talk but the second we know a show is coming up, we catch up on the day of.

Oh, and I guess Andrew has been like deathly sick so he hasn't been at work. I sent him a text yesterday saying "Heard you got sick. Get well." It's the thought that counts? But I tried to make it as informal as possible. Haha... His friend, Kimo came in looking for him on Monday too. He went up to me and talked. Meh. I kind of hoped to not see him ever again.

Oh and I totally bombed that Gattaca assignment that had nothing to do with the movie. Woo.

Story of my life.

Closure

So they kept me at work for an extra 2 hours on Sunday. I was supervisor that day and they sent all my people home cause it wasn't busy. Then bam, we had a rush that they notified us about an hour beforehand. Thanks for letting me know I had to stay longer and run back and forth between box office and concessions. Thanks. My legs were giving out so when in box, I just sat on the floor. We actually had a synopsis packet. Uh-maze-in.

Isaac visited me so that was cool.

I was literally 7 minutes late or whatever and I already get a call from Rave. I guess Ms. Auciello fucked up and looked at the wrong schedule and was tripping out cause no one was coming into work. Nub I say. In the end, it was just Kyle and I that worked. We didn't have our third person. Oh that was just fun.

There were probably 8-10 interview-ees that came in to fill out paperwork. A part of the paperwork was a math test that was related to tickets, food or times. Yes, a fucken math test. I'm kind of glad they started doing it because hah. Courtland looked through them and he said only 2 out of the 8 passed it with 2 or less wrong. I decided to fill one out and got a 100%. It makes me sad that people don't know how to add and multiply. They even had a scratch paper. Oh it hurts my heart.

One of the questions was asking about if a movie starts at this time and it's this long, what time will it end. People were off by 5-10 minutes. How do you get that wrong? Don't you know there's 60 minutes in 1 hour? Srsly guys, srsly.

I don't know how I feel about Hollister anymore. I was going to go and sensor the new shipment we got. Ran into Sara, the dumbass manager. She mentions how I don't need to do the shipment since there's two people up there doing it already. I said alright but honestly, I wanted to stay upstairs. I can't stand it when I'm on the floor when my job title is fucking impact, so therefore I stay upstairs. Stupid bitch can't understand that. So I stay up there with my lead manager, Jay, and carry on with my sensoring. Sara comes upstairs and trips the fuck out cause I'm doing my job. Doing my fucking job. She mentions how she doesn't like how she tells people to do or not to do something and they do or not do it anyways. I got it. So I apologized. I thought that was the end of it.

She started shaking and twitching. And she went on about how it gets on her nerves and it stresses her out. She literally started hyperventilating. So Jay pipes in saying that he told me to do the sensoring and she starts tripping out on him about it. Then it carried onto how he's on his phone all the time and he's setting a bad example. Then it moved onto "Why are you speaking to me in such a way? I'm your manager for a reason." Then that leads to "You know, all the managers and other workers came up here just to clean the other day."
Side note: Was that really necessary to bring up? Nope.
Thus leads to "Don't tell me how to do my job when I'm here just as much as you or even more."

Pew pew.

All this happens right in front of me cause I couldn't get passed them.

What did Sara end up having me do in the end? URS. Yeah, I was upstairs anyways.

After that it was just tension everytime I'd pass her and now I'm in the position where all those models are. The ones who hate her guts and they don't do shit for her. Now she's scared to ask me to do shit. If I get shit from her again, I'm going to drop what I'm doing and quit. That is just ridiculous. I wasn't even fucking around, I was doing my job. Fuck that place.

Only good thing from the night was that I ran into Christian, so I stopped working and talked to him. Yes, in front of her.

Oh and I actually got my full hours cause we were "too slow".

Which reminds me, if I notice that I didn't get my full hours on my payroll because our system was fucked up and she plans on clocking me out in the morning, ohhhh there will be hell.

Oh and after work I watched Strange Wilderness. I kind of wished I watched the movie high or something. It was kind of funny. I was lucky to be in a theatre with people who laughed with me at stupid shit. Don't waste your money on the movie though. I was actually annoyed by Jonah Hill. He had this really forced accent and it was just plain annoying.

Oh and Gattaca is a pretty good movie. Too bad I couldn't relate any of it to my assignment. I hope I got at least half of the questions.

It's weird watching movies from the 90s cause I keep thinking it's not old but then when I think about it, dude it's fucken 10+ years ago. What the fuck. I feel old.

You Say You're A Dreamer

So I just did some thinking after watching the L Word. Why is it so fucken easy for women/men to just jump into shit like that. The second they look at each other, they just know there's this attraction and chemistry and they immediately start making out, which usually leads to sex about 5 minutes into it.

Yeah, so maybe it's not like THAT usually, or maybe it is. Obviously I wouldn't know since I don't get attracted to women. I figure it's because of the same sex, they just know what each other wants. I was kind of comparing the show to Arabela and Ron and as much as they say they don't get as much ass, oh please, they definitely do. I could never give myself up so easily like they do. And don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing on them at all, I'm a little envious. To meet people and get into things so easily. It's crazy. And even if I were to be able to be with someone for a long period of time, I still wouldn't be able to do certain things, no matter how comfortable I may be.

I watch these shows and it's just constant sex and relationship problems. The show goes beyond anything what regular cable TV will give you. I just love this show to death, but totally makes me jealous.

I don't know why it's so hard to figure out what the opposite sex is thinking. I'm usually pretty good at reading people, but I think that read only works if it doesn't involve me. Sometimes I can get a read, but it's never a definite thing that I can say yeah I'm 100% sure of. Spur of the moment is good, but seriously, I could never just go for anything. I wait forever or just move on. It's hard to connect with people that are appealing.

A Gunshot To The Head Of Trepidation

Yesterday I decided I was going to take my Mom out and do stuff for Chinese New Year. I decided to treat her to dim sum. Then took her to Town Square since she's never been there. We planned on walking around but stopped by the theatre first. Talked to Ms. Aldin and decided to watch 27 Dresses. My Mom reminded me that I wanted boba so I ran out to get permission to bring in outside drinks. Ms. Aldin gave me some money and I went out to go buy us some drinks. Took like a year for them to fucken make shit. They suck at service but it was good nonetheless.

27 Dresses was pretty cute. I was glad my Mom was able to understand it and laughed quite a bit at it.

We stopped by Hollister afterward so I could return a shirt. Oh yeah, I gave in and finally bought shirts cause I have a 50% right now since we're changing the floor. In the end, I hated the shirts haha. The first time I ever bought anything from there and I end up returning it. Fun. Forgot it was payday so I got lucky in getting my check. My Mom hates the store, especially with the loud music and immature co-workers I have. Hahahahaha.

I finally went out to drive to my Dad's. Got lost cause I'm an idiot.

Chinese New Year is just the best holiday. If it weren't for Christmas, Thanksgiving or birthdays, then I would never sit down and spend time with my family. Yeah, I'm totally in it for the money and food, but it really is the only time we all sit down together. Probably the only good thing about a divorced family is that I get two dinners instead of just one. Ha.

It was weird though, my Dad wasn't really all giddy in seeing me. It was kind of just whatever for the dinner. Plus we had two guests there. They seemed quite appalled that I don't know how to speak Chinese.

The manager that I don't like at Hollister, Sara, is still not on my good side. The last time I worked there it was kind of sad. I thought it was just me that thought she was an idiot but I found out all the models hate her. They were all conspiring against her and trying to not do work or just doing it really slow. I felt bad but at the same time, since they weren't doing shit, she put all the workload on me. Mmmm.

I lost my last two paystubs from Rave. I'm pissed about this cause I really need to calculate my hours. I'm pretty sure it's accurate, especially with them letting the overtime slip by, but I still need that stuff for my records. Bah.

I finally got the correct discs for L Word Season 4 from Netflix. Just finished them. What a great show. Shane is so hot. If I ever changed my orientation, sheeet.

Oh yeah, I talked to a co-worker of mine, Jamaal. And that same day, Andrew texted me several times what I was doing or if I wanted to hang out. Although, I was working both jobs that day. So I talked to Jamaal and apparently ever since I told Andrew I liked someone else at work, he automatically knew it was Cory. Just cause he was my type? Hah. Haha. :/

Maybe I should talk to Andrew again before I start getting presents for Valentine's Day. I'm worried.

OH, which fucken reminds me. While at school on Thursday, for some reason I just kept running into people I knew. Maricela, Bryce, Max and other people. It was just constant within 5 minutes. But then I think I ran into my first stalker from Rave. The one who came back looking for me and who was constantly calling and texting me. Oh fuck. I flipped and just kept walking. It might not be him because I felt the height difference was a little different, but he definitely had the same face and we made eye contact. Bleh.

On Thursday night, I literally started and finished an essay about A Clockwork Orange and why it's one of the best American films ever made. I need to get on top of my homework seriously.

It's nice to have two days off. And for it to be a Friday and Saturday is unbelievable. I need to catch up on sleep bad. I was falling asleep in CRJ and PHIL sitting up. I felt really bad cause I sat right in the front.

Well I have to go rent Gattaca for sociology since my shit computer doesn't work. Maybe another Chinese New Year dinner too.

No Scrubs

I forgot to blog about it, but Andrew has started getting on my case again. I figured after 3 or so days of no phone call/text, he finally got the hint. Especially since I gave him the cold shoulder at work several times and was a total bitch to him. Apparently that isn't working and now he's making me more mad. He texted me "hi". Kill me. Please. I hate text messaging.

I asked him at work why he sent me that text and he said it was the only way I'd talk to him. Haha. Pewpew.

Learned that the co-worker, Cindy, the one who was on my case the day I was supervisor, is over 2 months pregnant. I wonder if that's why she was so moody.

I think I have this attraction for people to talk to me now. Good, I hate making the first conversations haha. Well I tried in Japanese with this dude I got paired up with. Last week in sociology, this girl sat next to me and started the first convo with, "Have you seen the Saw movies? Doesn't our teacher look like him?" Then she gave me a bag of peanut M&Ms the next class. I was hella confused but I'll return the favor. Then in sociology today, I sat next to a different girl and she passed over a sticky note asking if I was bored with a smiley face. We wrote back and forth and I guess she's from Hawaii and resides here with her boyfriend. Psych major and all this good stuff. Then in philosophy, this dude from my PSY101 class last semester sat next to me. So we started talking and he ended up giving me his number at the end of class incase if I had questions. No, I didn't ask for it. Hella random.

Wooooo people to talk to. Thank goodness.

Ran into Maricela at one point. That was cool just catching up even though we don't really talk.

After school, Kevin picked me up and we went to Cheesecake Factory. Chicken Madeira is way too good. Got caught up on a lot of stuff. Pew pew he's seeing someone. I'm really happy for him and as long as it wasn't Lauren.

All these relationships spurring up, yeah that includes you Niki, makes me jealoussss. Or I don't even know if that's the right word, but I hella feel gayed out of this whole relationship business since I've been single for a couple of years. Hella over it and wish it were easy to just meet someone who shares the same interests as me. Whatever, I have no time for that shit anyways. I don't even have days off anymore. I just want to know someone is there that needs me, excluding Andrew, and vice versa.

Can You Get Up Off Your Knees

Where the fuck do I begin?

I feel like I haven't been at home in a while. For sure haven't been online in a while.

My Mom finally gave in and got a membership to Sam's Club. I'm pretty stoked about it and I don't know why. Haha. The day I went in to go get my picture, I gave in and bought like 30 dollars worth of stuff and found out they don't fucken take Visa. I had to charge it as a debit, was pissed cause I knew I didn't have that money in my account. Worth it in the end though haha. God I love Arizona Green Tea.

Rave actually gave me overtime on my paycheck. Haha for .08 hours. Meaning I got paid like 76 cents. I'm pretty sure Mr. Winn saw that and flipped a bitch cause overtime is definitely not allowed. ;(( So far it's the biggest paycheck I've gotten from there though. Everyone was like wtf cause I pretty much live there.

Uhhh I remember that on Friday, I went to class about an hour in a half late. Not only did I wake up late, I had to finish my free write essay on this article I read about this lady who fucken shoved her baby in the microwave.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/01/31/baby.microwave.ap/index.html

Disgusting.

I figure that if I brought the essay incomplete, and since I've had this professor from last semester, he just gives it back and doesn't give you full credit. And since I only go once a week, it's a pain in the ass for that kind of ordeal, so I sacraficed my limited absences and tried to get the essay done.

When I got home, I cleaned out my car. I wanted to go get a car wash but I knew that Sunday was going to be raining all day and then I realized I needed to get my oil change. So yay, a good car wash.

I went to Sam's Club afterward and met up with Isaac to sample some food and get a hotdog. Talked for a bit then went home to change and race to work. Pretty much 10 minutes late.

Work was whatever. I got sent home early, even with a fucken 30 minute break. That's bullshit cause wtf, waste of my time. So after, I ended up watching The Eye with Jenna and Janice. Janice had seen the Chinese version and told me about some scenes so I was anticipating that shit in the movie. Honestly, I got scared a couple of times. The way the movie was, there weren't always scenes that were predictable. Jenna was literally hiding the whole time and when she'd be chill and the movie was alright, music was calm, bam, fucken something pops up. Totally fucked up. Loved it.

After work, Janice and I were heading over to the break room and one of our security guards for the theatre tried to kick us out. What a fucken dumb bitch. I was wearing the uniform and she was like wtf, you guys work here? You sure?

Since I demanded for morning shifts, I got them. Except they fucked up and tried to have me close on Friday and go in at 9:30am the next day. Since Friday wasn't as busy as they expected, we hoped Saturday would pick up better business since the Jonas Brothers were in town. Bam, got sent home only 3 hours into my shift. I hate it when Mr. Anderson does that shit. So I got the chance to finally watch Atonement. Excellent movie. Definitely tops Michael Clayton for best motion picture award. Such a sad movie. I was a little envious of the couples around me in the theatre, but at the same time, I laughed at them because the theatre isn't meant for couples and they were all struggling to be close to each other. Hah.

After that, I felt the need to drive to my sister's house and no reason why. Just drove over there. Played some Rock Band and ate pizza. Since I ended up not hanging out with Jessica, I stayed with them. We went over to their friend, Kelly's, and watched the UFC fight with Brock Lesnar. That guy is a fucken monster. He wailed on that guys face like crazy. It was crazy how he was doing all that shit, but just a slight miscalculation and he's tapping out. After that they pulled out Rock Band and all did each instrument, including singing. Shit was funny. I owned their faces at guitar and bass.

Ended up crashing at my sister's house since she's close to work. Played more Rock Band and actually tried the singing shit. Learned that you don't need to know the words but just the melody. Even got my sister to kind of sing. Interesting bonding time we had.

So I get to work and Simone tells me I can't clock in until 9:45. Mind you my shift started at 9am and I get there 10 minutes late anyways. I'm like wtf and stand in the break room thinking fuck that and just clock in. I acted like I didn't know and just went about the theatre doing my duties of an usher and turned off cleaning lights. In the middle of it, Ms. Auciello finds me and is all DID YOU CLOCK IN? I tell her I did and she explains to me how Mr. Winn thinks we're wasting money in having everyone come in so early. So you're gonna have people come in and not clock in for 30-45 minutes later? Yet you're gonna have them be working? Yeah fuck that and fuck you. After I did the cleaning lights, I chilled in the break room with everyone and talked shit for a while. Everyone ended up clocking in anyways.

New douchebag manager, is nicknamed Ratatouille. Kind of sad, but he really does resemble a rat.

Since Ms. Mason was working, I got to stay for my whole shift. The day was chill, except for Ratatouille being such a fucken faggot. Then hopped over to Hollister to work. Jae, the second head stock guy, kind of made a small convo with me. Introduced himself to me even though I've met him before. The first time he met me, he seemed eager but then dropped it when he found out I wasn't Korean. This time, I don't know, but it was weird. Apparently I was the only impact person for the night but was stuck downstairs fixing clothes. I guess the managers got the word that I'm good at detailing shit and putting the sizing stickers on incredibly straight. Meh.

Ended up closing the store hella early cause I fixed everything too fast. Damn me.

Giants won the SuperBowl. Big woop. I really don't care for the SuperBowl.

Visited Neecey, my old co-worker from Prudential. Talked a little and watched a little of this pageant where both the Mom and daughter are running together. Kind of weird.

After I went to go visit Nevielle at her roommates place. I guess she got in a huge fight with her Mom and dipped and has been staying at this house up on Blue Diamond and Durango. It was nice for once not drinking and just talking. We hella got into scary stories and superstitions and all these Asian horror flicks. I kind of scared myself. Finally went home at like 2:30am.

Woke up late today but got to work right on time. So I'm 10 minutes late for the past 3 days but I'm okay today haha.

Got to work with Cory, uhh. Haven't seen his ass for like 2 weeks. It was cool talking to him. Plus I bothered Courtland and finally started talking to Kyle. Cory was tearing down the National Treasure and Sweeney Todd props. He ended up taking the knife and the hand from the Sweeney prop. Fucken when he walked down the hallway with the knife, it reminded me of that Final Fantasy character with the huge sword. I forgot his name.

Since he left early, we fucked up on shit with scheduling and giving breaks. Kind of funny. But at least I got an extra 25 minutes out of it.

After I decided to watch There Will Be Blood. Someone ended up sitting next to me. I think I was only okay with it since the seats are so big but at the same time, i felt not so alone. The movie was really good. I found out the guy from Little Miss Sunshine, the son, was in there. Realized I wanted to watch this movie for a long time because of this crazy sermon he did in this preview I saw. Totally forgot about it. His performance in this movie is crazy and completely different from his other roles in all other movies.

I was thinking to myself on Thursday after philosophy class about the video we watched called Obedience. The Milgram Experiment. Don't know if you guys heard about it, cause the only time I knew of it was when I took PSY101 last semester. The experiment originated right after the Holocaust and it was just to see how far people would go in listening to authority. There would be two people who would come in for this experiment and they'd be paid like $450 to do it. One will be the teacher while the other is the student. Both are in separate rooms and both know what each other has to do. The teacher has to read off a list of words to the student that are in no relation together. So they'll say "sad-girl, sunny-day". Then when they say "sad", they give 4 answers and the student has to say what the matching word is. For every wrong word, the teacher has to read off the volts he's giving and gives a shock to the student. So the student is buckled up to a chair being shocked in another room and for every wrong answer, the shock becomes more severe. At one point during the experiment, the student mentions how they have a heart problem and they need to get the fuck out and they start screaming louder and louder. This is where you notice if the teacher decides to quit the experiment or keeps going. So this is either a make it or break it situation where the teacher can stop and say fuck your money, I don't want that guy to die. The scientist will keep pushing them to keep on with the list of words. In the end you find out that the "student" is actually just an actor fucking with the teacher's head.

Studies showed that out of the 100 people they tested on, 50% of them stayed and gave the maximum deadliest shock until the end. And you also notice how everyone laughs everytime they hear the guy crying out in pain. It was kind of weird but I guess it is true. Then someone re-did the experiment last year. It's somewhere if you dig in the news.

After watching the movie, it just made me think about how I'm at work and when they had me be supervisor. I couldn't take the pressure of them telling me what to do and trying to delegate orders. I just couldn't do it. I could care less if that makes me a bad manager or whatever, but at least I know what my limits are and am not letting someone drag me all over the place.

Charades

Fucking Niki and fucking milk tea. Fucking KevJumba and Demetri Martin videos. Whatever the fuck it was, I stayed up until 7am. I'm leaning toward the tea because I'm not big on caffeine and have been pretty free of it for years. Nothing major at least.

I crashed and set my alarm at 10am just incase if Rave called me. They never did, so I continued to pass out. Some random number called me and the instant I woke up they hung up after the first ring. Wrong number I'm guessing. It was 1pm and I realized I had to start on homework for English.

Chilled, ate and was able to only put out for one assignment out of the 3. Was a little distressed from my Mom but got over it. I raced to work and then they asked me to go to the Galleria Mall's Hollister to get more red line tape. So I was like fuck it, I'll go. For some reason Jay, the head stock manager, wanted everyone who was already there to stay and continue what they were doing. Mind you I started work at 5pm. I set out on the 215 in the bullshit rush hour traffic. Whatever, I'm in no rush. I even went in a couple of stores to "shop" around. Finally got the red line tape. The guy literally stared at me for 5 minutes in silence and finally went OH and realized what red line tape was. Woo, another dumbass manager.

I even gave in and bought candy because I don't remember the last time I've seen those Sweet Factory stores.

They even had Jessica calling me asking where I was. What the bullshit. I didn't even get a reimbursement for gas. So why not waste time just chillen and take my time?

After work I went to go catch Michael Clayton. Honestly, I'm so glad I caught it before it was gone. I liked it a lot and it's up for best motion picture of 2007 for the Oscar's. I have yet to see fucking Atonement but I noticed it was staying at my theatre for another week so yay. Then I'll watch There Will Be Blood.

Niki, if I don't make it in the top 3, I'm going to be sad.

I better win. haha.

I went back to the break room to get some of my friends' schedules and ended up staying to talk to Khadige. Whoever went to Durango probably knows her. Anyways, we were just talking and whatnot. Kind of waited with her before her ride came. Then out of nowhere this random guy comes in and asks us if it would be cool that he left his jacket on the boxes of soda syrup because he didn't want anyone to steal it. Then he pulls out a roll of Starbursts and offers it to us. I refused while Khadige was unsure but took it. She was asking what line of work he was in and he went into how he said in his company, he was obligated in sharing his Starbursts. Then he said that if he loses his jacket, his girlfriend will kill him. Found out he's from some company that built our screens and he needed to check on stuff. After he left, Khadige and I just looked at each other and mouthed What The Fuck.

That was my night.

But uh, foreal, if you have time, watch Demetri Martin's Part 1-6 "If I" skit on Youtube. It's probably one of the most eye-opening skits I've ever came across. I was already still in the philosophical mode after class and helping a friend online about how to pinpoint an argument. But yeah, that skit is hardcore. Love that guy.

Homework time. Haha.

Kill Your Idols

There's this manager named Sarah at Hollister who pisses me off. She treats me like I'm a fucken idiot or something. Last night she exclaimed "WOAH YOU KNOW HOW TO FOLD JEANS?" Mind you that there's a certain way to fold guy's jeans and it's I guess slightly difficult for all the models to figure out. Did I ever mention how much they lack in the common sense department? Well anyways, I was in the middle of explaining to her how I took down one of the jeans I saw folded, opened it up, studied it and followed the folds. Easy enough, don't you think? But she cuts me off and starts talking about how people couldn't figure it out and all this mumbo jumbo.

Prior to this convo, right when I got to Hollister, Jared, the main manager, had left some special tasks for me to do. So she explains to me how Jared says I'm one of the best folders and all this bullshit since he's only seen me fold once and I guess since I get all anal about detailing, it looked nice. So she had me do such things as detailing and making everything look perfect on some of the tables. I eventually ran into Jessica and helped her with work.

So back to the first paragraph, I guess Sarah was just surprised at how "good" I am. Woo, it's not hard to fold clothes bitch.

The first time I worked with her, she made me do USRs, which is a handheld computer device that lets you know what items were sold in the store that day. Thus, you look for these items in the back so we can restock them to the front of the store as if nothing happened. She had me do this last minute, no big deal, but there were 9 other people downstairs just waiting on me to finish. Why didn't she just have them help me? And when they finally did come up, they only chatted and folded what I had pulled out. Then she comes up and acts like I'm slow, finds one thing and gives up because she wanted to go home. So most likely, she put selected the option, can't find, on everything after that on my name and probably fucked up my quota. I'm aggravated with this bitch on first impression already.

Or also last night, Michael, another manager... I asked him if he had anything for me to do because I was extremely bored and walking aimlessly around tugging at shirts. He starts dancing to his metrosexual dance mix he popped in the stereo and just kept dancing. He even did a rock paper scissors dance. I don't even know how to explain that so I'll let your imagination run off. And that was the end of it. He gave me no work. Why do they have such idiots running that place. No wonder Jared is the main manager. Geezus.

I like how I went backwards with this entry.

I figure this deserved it's own entry because Hollister is just that special.

Superstar

I'm listening to the track by Rollergirl currently; not Sonic Youth or The Carpenters. This shit really makes me reminisce 8th grade. Glowsticks, Asian cliques and DDR. Woo. I haven't listened to trance/techno or whatever makes bump noises in years. I couldn't stand it anymore, but mainly because it just sounds the same and I haven't heard any new good beats.

Anyways, the other day my Mom finally got us basic cable. I was super excited cause now I can watch local news and shit. Haha. Well my intentions were to watch The Office and Heroes before, but since those are out of the picture, uhh haha. I barely even have time to sit down.

Uh oh, it just occurred to me that I'm distancing myself from everyone again. Except I'm keeping busy with making money instead of doing community service. It's kind of sad that I don't really care though. As much as I'd like to have someone just call me up, I end up coming up with an excuse to avoid it. I don't know why either. And so far it was pretty difficult to do my homework that was all due today. I know I shouldn't work so much, but since I'm so used to it, I just can't stop. If I don't work, I feel useless and extremely lazy with too much time on my hands. Plus I hate looking at my paychecks if they're decreasing. It really bothers me. Being unproductive is starting to disgust me. So I'm hoping this new thing that I'm growing fond of will help me stop being such a procrastinator. I seriously planned the time and days when I'd be able to do my homework according to my schedule. In the end it didn't work out too well because I seriously didn't have time to myself at all.

I even got a small notebook and am using it as a daily planner. I'm trying to be more organized, yet my room and car is a total mess.

I think if I can get through this semester with decent grades and still with both jobs, I don't even know. But I'd be proud.

If not that, I think maybe I'll find a more stable job with normal set hours and work at Rave like once a week just so I can still watch free movies. I seriously saved over 200 dollars from watching free movies or letting people watch them for free.

Jessica asked me if I wanted to go to the Philippines with her. I kind of want to, just so I can finally say I've been out of the country. Looks like going to any foreign country is fucken ridiculously expensive.

Oh, this one day I was working in box office, I had to sell these $2 charitable hearts to people. Courtland and I were competing and since he was there since the morning, he had already sold about 60. One of my managers, Ms. Aldin, let me pick a DVD from the box that they had cause according to her, I sold 3 bags (10 in each) but I'm sure I sold way more than that. So last minute I noticed Transformers and took that. Found out Courtland didn't get jack, so I hope he got something by now.

I learned another manager, Donnelly, quit cause she couldn't handle the stress from school conflicting with work.

A co-worker, Angel, came in requesting to be an assistant manager. Yet, he only works there once a week. And they asked Chantel if she wanted to be one but we talked about it, and we both didn't even like being supervisor. Apparently you need open availability because it's never a set schedule for them either. I wouldn't be able to stand Steve Winn and his bullshit thought process of wasting time and losing money.

I finally saw what the LX looks like. It's exactly the same fucken size as my monster Sidekick 2. Only difference is, it's SLIGHTLY thinner. But it's still the equivalence in the length. I'm tired of it being so huge.

I think if I get English, or at least half of it done by tonight or tomorrow morning, I'm going to go and catch Atonement before I work at Hollister tomorrow. Or if they don't call me in at Rave.

Geez I need a life.

I Look At All The Lonely People

So I don't really remember my days anymore so I'll just recap what I remember.

I had a dream that the co-worker who gave me a hard time that one night I was supervisor, Cindy, calls me saying she did something to make Andrew hurt himself. I responded with a what and she says just kidding and then asks me if I wanted to eat, but I knew Andrew was with her. Then I woke up. Oh no, I'm dreaming about him.

Another dream I had was, Nalani, this one old classmate of mine back in 9th grade, she was dating Cory, the dude I dig at work. What the fuck. I don't even know why she was in my dream. All I kept thinking in my dream was, wtf, she was dating some guy when I last saw her and what's going onnn. Awkward dreams.

It kind of dawned on me that I have a shit load of homework. So far I've only gotten the Japanese homework out of the way. I started on my criminology homework during my 30 min. break.

Oh and I went back to Beat The Bookstore to get the correct books. The guy who I went to was all who helped you and wtf, I'm sorry. Next thing you know, he gives me the wrong fucken sociology book as well. Hmm, a 212 section book. That makes sense. Man I was pissed. Good news was, I only had to spend 7 dollars more so my total for books this semester was about 90. The guy told me I can come back and yell at them if shit was wrong again.

Jessica lost her wallet with all her most important shit in it. Good game. We can't find it.

Office Depot does not give you reams of paper for empty ink cartridges anymore. They give you $3 dollars for each instead.

I wonder if Office Max still does the reams of paper. I really needed paper damnit.

Caught up on school shopping.

Not working as much as I would like to. Yet I'm busy every single day. Funny how that works.

It's even funnier that I have no time or don't feel like hanging out with anyone. I'm actually not sitting on my ass on the computer all day. Not wasting money eating dinner with people.

I did hang out with Isaac and Jessica though. It was random but chilled at her house and ate. The plan was to watch a movie but they got stuck on WoW. Gay.

Oh and I went to Michelle's house for Nevielle's going away dinner. Played some beer pong. I totally owned and I don't know why. I suck at that game but man, woo. I would be on the phone and I'd make shots. Gracy and I dominated until Nevielle and Michelle gave up the game to other people. Then they tore down our 6 cups. We won in the end though, but still gay.

It rained all day today. It was nice.

I was watching this show on MTV. Something about greatest dance groups in the nation. West coast has some of the sickest moves. My god. I hope Jabba Wakkies win some shit. I'm really disappointed that this guy group who had a routine with just roller skates didn't make it to the finals. Some bullshit I say.

But because of this show, I probably would've never thought to go watch How She Move. I was trying to watch Atonement and even sat down. But I wanted to go get a drink and my manager spotted me and wanted me to work an extra 30 minutes. I didn't even change into my work clothes. Haha, everyone was so confused.

So yeah, How She Move was pretty good. The typical poor kid trying to make it out of the ghetto but lacks money so tries to win a competition to pay for school. Probably only surprising thing is, no one dies from a shooting. Haha.

Funny thing is, I think the people on that dance show were way better than the people in this movie. Kind of sad.

Yesterday was the first time Andrew didn't call me. But that's because we saw each other at work and I ignored him. He did text me asking me if I was mad though. Then today he asked me what's up with me and why I was being mean and I wouldn't say anything and walk away. He tried to find out if I wanted to eat with him after work but nope. I have to set shit straight again with him or something. He needs to get off my nuts. Yeah I said it.

Oh and my mom threw away my Netflix DVDs that I got in mail. Thank goodness I remembered to ask about them. Geezus. Would've been weird reporting that. But I'm a little pissed that they sent me the 3rd and 4th disc to The L Word when I need disc 1 and 2. wtf.

Anddddddd I finally filled out my FAFSA today. It was probably one of the worst experiences of my life because neither my mom or I knew what the fuck it was asking on some stuff. Mainly because we haven't filed our taxes yet so it was just difficult to answer. So half the time we're bickering and trying to fill as much as we can.

I think I'm going to finish criminology now so I can start on other work.

Put The Lotion In The Basket

Time to blog.

First day of school went well. I spent 3 hours of it reading Choke. Tomorrow I'll be working in box office so I'll probably be able to finish the book then.

Andrew, the guy I denied, has been pestering me day and night. Someone make him go away.

I drool everytime I see my other co-worker :(

I've been supervisor twice. The first time was a bitch because Cloverfield had just opened up on that Friday and I had a co-worker that was being the biggest turd burglar ever. The second shift went well and ended up having all my friends on my concession team.

Heath Ledger was found dead today :(

I wonder if he overdosed on Ambien cause my sister takes those and well, that's a story I'm not going to get into.

So far I really like all my classes. My Japanese teacher is pretty good at English so thank god. I wish I didn't get out at 7pm but whatever. And it looks like I know people in all my classes except my philosophy class. Kind of nice how it ended up even though I told myself I shouldn't take classes with people I know so I can finally make some friends.

The day I tried to put in my 2 weeks notice to Hollister, my manager kept saying really nice compliments to me about how I was such a big help or a good worker in the stuff I do and etc. So now I'm going to work there 2 days a week haha. Yay gas money.

Despite what everyone in the world says, I liked Cloverfield. We didn't have to know much about the characters or what the hell the monster is, but just what if you were in their situation. The concept with the video camera was a good idea but I honestly got major motion sickness.

The Orphanage was really good. I watched it by myself and refused Andrew's company since the first time I walked out the theatre pissed. I jumped a few times. It was just nice to watch a movie that didn't have to deal with all those hollywood stars and crazy special effects. The entire movie was in Spanish and had subtitles and I was ultimately intrigued all the same or even more.

I plan on seeing Atonement before it's gone. I've only heard good things about the movie.

On Saturday, January 19th, I took Tiffany to watch Melee with me. I won tickets on 94.1 the night I picked her up to go celebrate at the Casanova's for their birthday. Kind of sad how I won but oh well. We went late and ended up catching all 5 of the bands. It was a little excessive but interesting nonetheless. In the end, there were literally 20 people there just to watch Melee. It was kind of sad but I loved their music. I was really sad that they didn't play Built To Last and they were just going by song requests, mainly by these girls who apparently followed them from their last show in Cali.

I was pretty stoked in the end after selling some clothes and buying my textbooks. I ended up only spending 80 dollars on books for this semester compared to the 500 last semester. But today I learned that Beat The Bookstore sold me the wrong sociology AND criminology books so I'm quite pissed. I hope they apologize and give me some credit toward my books because now I'll be spending over 150.

I haven't been keeping track of my budget, but so far I've just been spending on cheap fast food. Gas went down to $2.97 and I don't have an urge to buy unnecessary things. So go me.

Oh look at that, Andrew is calling me. I am so sick of it, seriously.

Unlike Me

I've never given the bad news to someone's feelings before. I feel drained and helpless about it.

What's worse is, I know my feelings for the other person will end up exactly the same.

haha fucken work drama.

I Need To Taste Your Blasphemy

Jessica and I got pulled into Test America and did these gay ass surveys. I only got $5 for it and wasted like 30 minutes of my life. Couldn't find the one in Fashion Show. I hope it's still there.

Jessica got me H&M and Best Buy gift cards for Christmas, so I put the H&M one to use today. Kind of funny how I didn't even want anything but got forced to try things on to pass time. Worked out in the end.

I saw Jila for like a minute. She handed me a bag of alcohol and found out she was leaving back to Canada tonight.

Okay, so I finally figured out what I'm going to do this year. I'm going to make a monthly budget of $200 for myself.

I think last spring when Wayne was here, he told me his budget was $100 and I didn't believe he could do it. But I forgot, he's the most cheapest person you'll ever meet. So he's been pulling it off and actually has leftover cash in the end.

I figure with about $100 of it will just be going to gas since school and work is kind of far from where I live. I usually get gas about once a week but since I reduced going to school down to 3 days instead of 5, it might not be as bad as last semester.

Then I've also decided to finally start paying my mom $50 for car insurance to help out. If I made more money, I'd definitely give her more, especially to cover from the last bill. I know I'll be paying for books soon, so it's going to be hard paying off the credit card and etc. with this budget, but I'll manage it somehow. I don't really shop and pretty much Christmas kicked my ass, so I'm done spending. I just need to learn not to spend all my money on food. So I figure my last $50 will go to miscellaneous things, but hopefully it'll be leftover money in the end.

The budget seems high but hopefully I don't even need that much as a budget and it'll go lower soon after I test it out.

I'm contemplating on whether if I have leftover cash, should I just put it on the side without really knowing how much I saved and use for later or just disregard the idea and restart $200 every month. I figure I could put the leftover money into the savings so it can collect some pennies for interest.

Oh managing money is going to be interesting.

I hope I get in with Victora Secret. 1 day a week at Hollister is some bullshit on their part and getting paid less than a $100 every 2 weeks from them is even more bullshit.

I was proud that I barely spent anything today until I got to Wal-Mart. I swear, everytime I go to Wal-Mart or Target, I have to spend over 50 bucks on a whole bunch of things for home. Gay.

When You Scream, It Sounds Like A Lullaby

http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/bus/527638957.html

This made my day... the other day. haha. I'm glad they're double our pay, but how do they live off of a salary like that? Unless these new people are actually assistants to our usual managers. Then we have a general manager. Then owner. Hm.

Okay, finally a day off. Let's recap.

I'm not mad anymore. Did it get resolved though? No. But I always get over it.

I hung out with Jila, Trisha and Tony Clifford that next day. (Day after I hung out with Jila) Met up at Fashion Show and watched Trisha steal just about everything she saw.

Then met up at MGM. I got Sonic on the way too, haha.

Went to Gameworks and actually played some games. It was fun I guess. Then the Jurassic Park game stopped working after I shot a civilian and then the dinosaurs stopped coming up on the screen.

I left after that and raced to Kevin's house. I called Wayne numerous times on the way to see if I could stop by to say bye before he left to Hong Kong, but as usual, no answer.

Picked Kevin up and went to Rave to watch P.S. I Love You. Not my idea. I didn't even know what the movie was about. And prior to watching, I complained because I never look at Hilary Swank the same after watching Boys Don't Cry. Well the movie turned out to be really great. I even cried.

I wanted to watch Juno right after but it had already started, so we conversated with my co-workers for a while then went to go watch I Am Legend. I kind of wish I didn't rewatch it.

Then we went to this place called Dessert Avenue where we got the most amazing mango pudding ever. While devouring the pudding, I dominated Kevin in all the card games we played. He won one, but only because he cheated.

Finally dropped him off at like 2:30am.




The next day I went to Burlington to get a comfortor with my mom then to eat dimsum. Saw Ron's family there, but no Ron. Went to work. After, got some Chipotle with Amanda to eat while watching Juno. Well Andrew and Xander, our co-workers, spotted us and sat with us. Then two of our managers and their boyfriends came in as well. It was awkward, and I didn't eat my burrito. Then Amanda got up and left and never came back. And then Xander did as well. I felt awkward being alone with Andrew, but it ended up being okay.

I took Amanda home afterwards. Found out she knew Ariel and Jessica back in the day. She even lived down the street from them. So I went to go visit Jessica and rode with her to go take Ariel and her boyfriend to someone's house. Ariel kind of talked to me, so maybe we're going somewhere.





The other day I woke up at 7am to go deposit my paycheck from Hollister and to drop off a check to pay off my ticket. Then to work. Amanda helped me do my duties as a morning usher and we accidentally made someone mad. Thought the bathroom was locked for no reason and made dumb comments. Ahh, what a good morning.

After work, I watched One Missed Call with Amanda. She had to work and left at a part that I thought was the ending. No. It went on for another 20 minutes. While the entire movie was going, these groups of annoying customers were taunting and yelling at the movie the entire time. I wish Shannyn Sossamon didn't take part in this movie. She can do so much better. Well, I didn't like the movie. But to be honest, it was a lot better than most Asian movie remakes. I'm probably going to end up watching it again with all the co-workers I guess. Eh.
Got some shirts from H&M for the first time. They overcharged me but I corrected them.





Then yesterday, I woke up at 6am-ish to go to Ron's house. I went to go with Alma to take Ron to the airport. I didn't know he was leaving already. Bah.

I don't know why, but I got really creeped out when I was turning off the cleaning lights in all the theatres. I guess it occurred to me that I was entirely alone and it was dark. I don't know, I got weirded out.





So two days off. Hopefully Hollister will need me today. Maybe hang out with Jila.

Oh man. Area 107.9 is doing this thing where if you're their 1079th friend on MySpace, you automatically win all concert tickets for all of 2008. Including the Linkin Park show in March. I rushed to home to check out how many friends they had. Thank god for Mozilla. Yeah, well they only have 710. So. Haha. I have to remind myself to check every now and then.

You Disappoint Me; Maybe You're Better Off This Way

I didn't start this year off very well. Yeah, I'm talking at like 12am New Years Day.

I'm really mad at myself.

I'm really mad at people who make me mad.

I haven't been so down in like a year.

Actually probably a year today.

I don't even know why I'm pushing myself to work so hard.

I almost feel like I'm wasting this break by not spending time with people from out of town. But I know I'm not.
Someone told me this break should be worth enjoying. Time to just sit around and do nothing. I see others literally doing that and I think they're stupid for doing so. But now I'm starting to think I'm the stupid one.

I'm going to be exhausted when school comes around. Am I keeping both jobs? What the hell am I doing?





And I wasn't even supposed to fucken work today. Tomiko called me asking if I could cover for her shift. Mr. Anderson told her to call me. Today was the day I requested off. I was half asleep when she called so I accepted. I was excited to work in box office. Did I? No. I was stuck in concessions. And did I ever get a register? No. I was stuck bagging popcorn for 6 1/2 hours straight, then made nachos for the other hour in a half. I'm pissed. My legs are giving out. I wanted to fucken work in box.

Then I watched my mother and her best friend do drunk karaoke while I ate. I have a headache and am exhausted.

Fuck New Years.