Clarity

Last night I just learned about my sister's struggling financial problem and that my Mom is going to the doctors again.

Fuck.

Never Thought About The Shame

I was literally trapped in a box today. Thus, I brought English homework and did it. So I got that accomplished.

I guess there's a meeting tomorrow for just the new supervisors at 8pm cause I suck with my schedule. Woo. Fancy.

So remember Sara? The bitch ass manager from Hollister. Yeah, I almost quit today because of that stupid whore. She was pissed that I went straight to the stock room to work with Jessica cause I didn't check in with her. Blah blah blah. Afterwards she was making the new weeks schedule and asked me about my availability. Like it has been, I'm not available Tues, Thurs, or the weekend. Thus, I work Mon and Wed like how it's been every week, for the past month in a half.

Later on she asks me to check on my schedule to make sure I can work the shift. So I do and see that I'm only scheduled for Mon, one shift. So I ask Sara about why this is and she just SHRUGS. Gives me this bullshit about how based off of my availability, that's why it's like that. And I tell her about that's why I am scheduled Mon and Wed because of it and that's how it's been for the past many weeks. And she just SHRUGS and SMILES and says OH WELL, I'LL KEEP THAT IN MIND FOR LATER ON. Mother fucking cunt. She made the schedule last week and it was fine. She probably noticed she'd be closing with me and didn't want to. It took so much fucking will power to not wring her neck. I made this concerned face. Not happy or sad. Just O_o. Walked away to the stock room and flipped on Jessica. Then I hid in the shelves for like 20 minutes not doing shit. It took so much for me to not walk out of work.

I have to talk to Jared, the general manager. I can't take it anymore. I gotta tell him wtf is up with her and then quit. I'm fucken over that job.

I'm also over Japanese class. Totally failing like a stupid mother fucker. I'm going to have to drop it. Ugh.

I'm so fucking angry yet I'm so happy with how shit's going with Rave. It's like nothing can ever be just great, there's always a balance or just shit.

Well, No Country For Old Men is coming back to my theatre so that makes me happy. So that ups the scale a bit.

Andrew started texting me today and I actually responded. So the scale doesn't move.

My eye infection thing came back. Scale down.

Might have to take some co-workers to the 8:30am meeting on Saturday. Neutral. Only cause they can wake me up since I know I won't. But fuck, 8:30am. And I guess we're watching Vantage Point afterward and then work time for me. Nice how that works out.

Fuck Hollister. They lost all their good managers and is left with some dumb bitch. I fucking hate that place. I'm going to steal their shit and sell it. That's the plan.

On a good note. I actually called and talked to Tiffany and Ron yesterday. Like I straight up talked to them on the phone on my part. It felt nice. It was the first time I did it. I still can't believe how long it took me. But it makes me want to break down and think, wtf kind of friend I am? I never check up on them to see how they're doing. I'm so indulged into my life of work and school. Then again, I don't even give the time of day to my friends in Vegas.

I'm kind of trying to be as independent as possible right now. Trying to earn as much income as I can and saving it. And I don't even know for what. I tell people that I pay for my tuition and car insurance and all this other junk. When in reality, not so much. It's not entirely false, but it's not entirely true either. I just want to know that the money I'm making will go to something important in my future. Whether it be for the place I'll be living in or to fucken whatever. I almost feel like I'm wasting my time at school cause it feels like it's taking forever to get anywhere. Especially with the fact that I don't even know what to do with my life.

Wtf am I talking about? Geezus. My bad.

In The Whirlpool We'll Go Deeper, In This World That's Getting Cheaper

Important stuff to remember:

- I kind of accidentally got Niteai her first written up notice at work. Except, she deserves it because she's fucked up plenty of times. Now she hates my guts :x Then again, I don't even really know her. And she got fired from Hollister too so... lol

- Ms. Mason pulled me aside and told me she's trying to promote 6 people to supervisor and I'm one of them. And my pay increase will jump to $7. Thank goodness, I was going to quit if I only went to $6.50

- I'm totally failing Japanese. Thinking about whether or not if I should drop it or not. Suggestions?

- I skipped a day of school cause I had an infection in my eye, as usual. And I kind of just gave up and didn't want to go. Though, that same day I went to Orleans to watch the Hana Yori Dango movie be made. Thus, I got to see Jun Matsumoto and Inoue Mao. Pew fucking pew. Jun is godly hot. I wish Shun was there. Oh, my life would be fullfilled.

- The next day I went to Orleans again and ate at the buffet with some old friends. After getting kicked out of the conference hallway and being yelled at by crying fangirls, I snapped amazing pictures. Plus, I got to shake Inoue Mao's hand. My friends spoke Japanese to them and I guess she thought we traveled there cause she said "welcome to Las Vegas." and I was like the fuck?

- I need to watch what the fuck No Country For Old Men is about cause it won best motion picture over Blood.

- It's cold. It's hot. It rains.

- There was a lunar eclipse the second night I went to Orleans. I saw it almost covered but kind of forgot about it.

- I got a mp3 player finally if I haven't already mentioned that. So far it's my baby. I even cleaned theatres one day with it and never once turned it off. The battery barely went to half. But looks like there might be some kinks. So far Jessica's screen stopped turning on. Meh.

- I missed both Richard and Cindy's birthday dinners cause of work and was too tired. I'm a bad friend.

- OH. Someone turned in my wallet. I got the letter after buying my new rebel ID for 20 bucks and learning that they dated the letter on the 15th, but didn't mail the letter until the 21st. Thanks. I still haven't obtained the wallet yet either. Hopefully today I'll get it.

- Be Kind, Rewind is a good movie. I'll admit, it's slow and kind of weird but it's so worth it with the remakes they do. Or actually, sweded.

- Definitely, Maybe was good but also was a little meh. I mean I watched it mainly cause it had Ryan Reynolds in it and I love that guy, but I really did like the movie.

- This one night I watched Vince Vaughn's comedy tour thing at my theatre as well. At first I was weirded out by some of the people in the theatre with me who just laughed outloud. But then I ended up joining them because the film was great. It's pretty much buying a DVD of some comedy tour and bits and pieces of their skits and etc. They even had the 'gay kid' from Wedding Crashers. It was great.

- Jermz came to town from Seattle for half a week. Hung out a few times. Pan's 21st birthday as well. It was nice seeing them all. Ryu grew and is so sodigh cute.

- Jermz asked me out the last day before he left and I said sorry and that he lived in Seattle. I don't know why I said that cause I don't think I'd ever date him. It was awkward after that.

- Yesterday my co-worker, Noel, the dude who totally fucked with my CRJ textbook, asked me if I wanted to go to the Gogol Bordello show with him. I said negative and now he wants to buy me a ticket. I wonder if this is compensation for my book. I hope that's his only intention. God work is so awkward.

- Andrew has finally stopped bothering me. So we sometimes talk at work and it's all good. Or at least I think it is.

- I haven't seen Cory in like 3 weeks or something cause of his other job so he doesn't work at Rave, but is still employed.

- I'm almost done with the L Word season 4. Goooooood shit.

- Tired and cold.

- Oh and I met Josh, the screamer/keyboardist from Emery. Mmmm. It was worth running back to my car to retrieve my camera.

We Are Not Who We Appear To Be

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0874423/

Can someone tell me why the fuck they made a movie about Mr. Hands. Yeah, I know you guys know who I'm talking about. The dude with the horse.

I feel sick.

Remember More Than You'd Like To Forget

Things to touch base on.

I guess I never mentioned this, but I got a ticket on January 18, the day I was heading to Beat The Bookstore for the first time. Ticket for what you might ask? For not wearing my seatbelt. Apparently the cop saw me trying to put it on and started tail-gating the hell out of me. Thanks stupid bitch. They just had to be a female. Who the fuck gets pulled over for not wearing their seatbelt? Tell me.

My Mom just came in showing me that she spent about $450 on two pairs of shoes and a purse. And she bitches at me for shopping for too many shirts and etc that cost 10 bucks each >:O

Today's my Dad's birthday. Kind of forgot but remembered when he was calling me. He tried to call me out on it about him having to call me to hear a "happy birthday". HAHA. He ALWAYS forgets my birthday. Douche. After that I pretty much got hate voicemails or calls from him all day cause he couldn't get ahold of my sister. Bitchy on his birthday, cool.

I just realized my parents are fucken old. I think my Mom just turned 57? That means my Dad is...if not by now, pushing 70. Holy fuck.

$200 every month for car insurance. So off with my budget. I'll just really restrain myself from buying shit... after H&M's sale >_>

Maybe I really should see a physician. I don't remember the last time I've been to a regular doctor for a checkup. It's disgusting, but I could never go to a gyno, no matter how much you paid me. Ever since I was told about it at like the age of 12, I've been deathly afraid to go. Now that I can go by myself, I still don't want to go. Besides the fact that they totally violate every sacred part of your body, I think I'm scared what the results might be. Mainly because my Mom and sister is extremely sick now with I don't even know what. They have major medical problems that I still don't understand and I don't want to know that there's something wrong with me, if there is (knock on wood). But seriously, I'm happy going about my days working as hard as I can and all that junk.

Nathan, Kiwi, and more just put in their two weeks notice. Nancy had already quit. Some people just work once a week. If Courtland passes that security test, he'll be gone. All my good co-workers are gone. >:O

Mr. Anderson really toys with my last name. He gave me a candy count sheet with different pictures displaying what a 'fan' might be. Ceiling fan.... those Asian fans that you use to air yourself off with.... I think there was a helicopter on it too. I get put in box office and he says, "I'm sorry for this but... I'm putting you next to the heater." Oh I dread going to work sometimes just to see him pull the cord and swirl his finger around in circular motion in attempt at making the ceiling fan spin. (If you ever do this to me, I will personally sock you in the face.)

Philosophy is getting interesting in the whole constructing valid arguments. I think I'm getting the hang of it.

The Cobra Starship show is fucking SOLD OUT. I'm so fucking angry. I wanted to take pictures of Gabe. sdihgoisdhgsodighoiwh5t3w9yg0ps9dhg

I will go to the Emery show though. That'll be the first time I'll have a picture of them since they're always at HOB. Going with Cathleen... haven't talked to her in months. Kind of cool how we don't talk but the second we know a show is coming up, we catch up on the day of.

Oh, and I guess Andrew has been like deathly sick so he hasn't been at work. I sent him a text yesterday saying "Heard you got sick. Get well." It's the thought that counts? But I tried to make it as informal as possible. Haha... His friend, Kimo came in looking for him on Monday too. He went up to me and talked. Meh. I kind of hoped to not see him ever again.

Oh and I totally bombed that Gattaca assignment that had nothing to do with the movie. Woo.

Story of my life.

Closure

So they kept me at work for an extra 2 hours on Sunday. I was supervisor that day and they sent all my people home cause it wasn't busy. Then bam, we had a rush that they notified us about an hour beforehand. Thanks for letting me know I had to stay longer and run back and forth between box office and concessions. Thanks. My legs were giving out so when in box, I just sat on the floor. We actually had a synopsis packet. Uh-maze-in.

Isaac visited me so that was cool.

I was literally 7 minutes late or whatever and I already get a call from Rave. I guess Ms. Auciello fucked up and looked at the wrong schedule and was tripping out cause no one was coming into work. Nub I say. In the end, it was just Kyle and I that worked. We didn't have our third person. Oh that was just fun.

There were probably 8-10 interview-ees that came in to fill out paperwork. A part of the paperwork was a math test that was related to tickets, food or times. Yes, a fucken math test. I'm kind of glad they started doing it because hah. Courtland looked through them and he said only 2 out of the 8 passed it with 2 or less wrong. I decided to fill one out and got a 100%. It makes me sad that people don't know how to add and multiply. They even had a scratch paper. Oh it hurts my heart.

One of the questions was asking about if a movie starts at this time and it's this long, what time will it end. People were off by 5-10 minutes. How do you get that wrong? Don't you know there's 60 minutes in 1 hour? Srsly guys, srsly.

I don't know how I feel about Hollister anymore. I was going to go and sensor the new shipment we got. Ran into Sara, the dumbass manager. She mentions how I don't need to do the shipment since there's two people up there doing it already. I said alright but honestly, I wanted to stay upstairs. I can't stand it when I'm on the floor when my job title is fucking impact, so therefore I stay upstairs. Stupid bitch can't understand that. So I stay up there with my lead manager, Jay, and carry on with my sensoring. Sara comes upstairs and trips the fuck out cause I'm doing my job. Doing my fucking job. She mentions how she doesn't like how she tells people to do or not to do something and they do or not do it anyways. I got it. So I apologized. I thought that was the end of it.

She started shaking and twitching. And she went on about how it gets on her nerves and it stresses her out. She literally started hyperventilating. So Jay pipes in saying that he told me to do the sensoring and she starts tripping out on him about it. Then it carried onto how he's on his phone all the time and he's setting a bad example. Then it moved onto "Why are you speaking to me in such a way? I'm your manager for a reason." Then that leads to "You know, all the managers and other workers came up here just to clean the other day."
Side note: Was that really necessary to bring up? Nope.
Thus leads to "Don't tell me how to do my job when I'm here just as much as you or even more."

Pew pew.

All this happens right in front of me cause I couldn't get passed them.

What did Sara end up having me do in the end? URS. Yeah, I was upstairs anyways.

After that it was just tension everytime I'd pass her and now I'm in the position where all those models are. The ones who hate her guts and they don't do shit for her. Now she's scared to ask me to do shit. If I get shit from her again, I'm going to drop what I'm doing and quit. That is just ridiculous. I wasn't even fucking around, I was doing my job. Fuck that place.

Only good thing from the night was that I ran into Christian, so I stopped working and talked to him. Yes, in front of her.

Oh and I actually got my full hours cause we were "too slow".

Which reminds me, if I notice that I didn't get my full hours on my payroll because our system was fucked up and she plans on clocking me out in the morning, ohhhh there will be hell.

Oh and after work I watched Strange Wilderness. I kind of wished I watched the movie high or something. It was kind of funny. I was lucky to be in a theatre with people who laughed with me at stupid shit. Don't waste your money on the movie though. I was actually annoyed by Jonah Hill. He had this really forced accent and it was just plain annoying.

Oh and Gattaca is a pretty good movie. Too bad I couldn't relate any of it to my assignment. I hope I got at least half of the questions.

It's weird watching movies from the 90s cause I keep thinking it's not old but then when I think about it, dude it's fucken 10+ years ago. What the fuck. I feel old.

You Say You're A Dreamer

So I just did some thinking after watching the L Word. Why is it so fucken easy for women/men to just jump into shit like that. The second they look at each other, they just know there's this attraction and chemistry and they immediately start making out, which usually leads to sex about 5 minutes into it.

Yeah, so maybe it's not like THAT usually, or maybe it is. Obviously I wouldn't know since I don't get attracted to women. I figure it's because of the same sex, they just know what each other wants. I was kind of comparing the show to Arabela and Ron and as much as they say they don't get as much ass, oh please, they definitely do. I could never give myself up so easily like they do. And don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing on them at all, I'm a little envious. To meet people and get into things so easily. It's crazy. And even if I were to be able to be with someone for a long period of time, I still wouldn't be able to do certain things, no matter how comfortable I may be.

I watch these shows and it's just constant sex and relationship problems. The show goes beyond anything what regular cable TV will give you. I just love this show to death, but totally makes me jealous.

I don't know why it's so hard to figure out what the opposite sex is thinking. I'm usually pretty good at reading people, but I think that read only works if it doesn't involve me. Sometimes I can get a read, but it's never a definite thing that I can say yeah I'm 100% sure of. Spur of the moment is good, but seriously, I could never just go for anything. I wait forever or just move on. It's hard to connect with people that are appealing.

A Gunshot To The Head Of Trepidation

Yesterday I decided I was going to take my Mom out and do stuff for Chinese New Year. I decided to treat her to dim sum. Then took her to Town Square since she's never been there. We planned on walking around but stopped by the theatre first. Talked to Ms. Aldin and decided to watch 27 Dresses. My Mom reminded me that I wanted boba so I ran out to get permission to bring in outside drinks. Ms. Aldin gave me some money and I went out to go buy us some drinks. Took like a year for them to fucken make shit. They suck at service but it was good nonetheless.

27 Dresses was pretty cute. I was glad my Mom was able to understand it and laughed quite a bit at it.

We stopped by Hollister afterward so I could return a shirt. Oh yeah, I gave in and finally bought shirts cause I have a 50% right now since we're changing the floor. In the end, I hated the shirts haha. The first time I ever bought anything from there and I end up returning it. Fun. Forgot it was payday so I got lucky in getting my check. My Mom hates the store, especially with the loud music and immature co-workers I have. Hahahahaha.

I finally went out to drive to my Dad's. Got lost cause I'm an idiot.

Chinese New Year is just the best holiday. If it weren't for Christmas, Thanksgiving or birthdays, then I would never sit down and spend time with my family. Yeah, I'm totally in it for the money and food, but it really is the only time we all sit down together. Probably the only good thing about a divorced family is that I get two dinners instead of just one. Ha.

It was weird though, my Dad wasn't really all giddy in seeing me. It was kind of just whatever for the dinner. Plus we had two guests there. They seemed quite appalled that I don't know how to speak Chinese.

The manager that I don't like at Hollister, Sara, is still not on my good side. The last time I worked there it was kind of sad. I thought it was just me that thought she was an idiot but I found out all the models hate her. They were all conspiring against her and trying to not do work or just doing it really slow. I felt bad but at the same time, since they weren't doing shit, she put all the workload on me. Mmmm.

I lost my last two paystubs from Rave. I'm pissed about this cause I really need to calculate my hours. I'm pretty sure it's accurate, especially with them letting the overtime slip by, but I still need that stuff for my records. Bah.

I finally got the correct discs for L Word Season 4 from Netflix. Just finished them. What a great show. Shane is so hot. If I ever changed my orientation, sheeet.

Oh yeah, I talked to a co-worker of mine, Jamaal. And that same day, Andrew texted me several times what I was doing or if I wanted to hang out. Although, I was working both jobs that day. So I talked to Jamaal and apparently ever since I told Andrew I liked someone else at work, he automatically knew it was Cory. Just cause he was my type? Hah. Haha. :/

Maybe I should talk to Andrew again before I start getting presents for Valentine's Day. I'm worried.

OH, which fucken reminds me. While at school on Thursday, for some reason I just kept running into people I knew. Maricela, Bryce, Max and other people. It was just constant within 5 minutes. But then I think I ran into my first stalker from Rave. The one who came back looking for me and who was constantly calling and texting me. Oh fuck. I flipped and just kept walking. It might not be him because I felt the height difference was a little different, but he definitely had the same face and we made eye contact. Bleh.

On Thursday night, I literally started and finished an essay about A Clockwork Orange and why it's one of the best American films ever made. I need to get on top of my homework seriously.

It's nice to have two days off. And for it to be a Friday and Saturday is unbelievable. I need to catch up on sleep bad. I was falling asleep in CRJ and PHIL sitting up. I felt really bad cause I sat right in the front.

Well I have to go rent Gattaca for sociology since my shit computer doesn't work. Maybe another Chinese New Year dinner too.

No Scrubs

I forgot to blog about it, but Andrew has started getting on my case again. I figured after 3 or so days of no phone call/text, he finally got the hint. Especially since I gave him the cold shoulder at work several times and was a total bitch to him. Apparently that isn't working and now he's making me more mad. He texted me "hi". Kill me. Please. I hate text messaging.

I asked him at work why he sent me that text and he said it was the only way I'd talk to him. Haha. Pewpew.

Learned that the co-worker, Cindy, the one who was on my case the day I was supervisor, is over 2 months pregnant. I wonder if that's why she was so moody.

I think I have this attraction for people to talk to me now. Good, I hate making the first conversations haha. Well I tried in Japanese with this dude I got paired up with. Last week in sociology, this girl sat next to me and started the first convo with, "Have you seen the Saw movies? Doesn't our teacher look like him?" Then she gave me a bag of peanut M&Ms the next class. I was hella confused but I'll return the favor. Then in sociology today, I sat next to a different girl and she passed over a sticky note asking if I was bored with a smiley face. We wrote back and forth and I guess she's from Hawaii and resides here with her boyfriend. Psych major and all this good stuff. Then in philosophy, this dude from my PSY101 class last semester sat next to me. So we started talking and he ended up giving me his number at the end of class incase if I had questions. No, I didn't ask for it. Hella random.

Wooooo people to talk to. Thank goodness.

Ran into Maricela at one point. That was cool just catching up even though we don't really talk.

After school, Kevin picked me up and we went to Cheesecake Factory. Chicken Madeira is way too good. Got caught up on a lot of stuff. Pew pew he's seeing someone. I'm really happy for him and as long as it wasn't Lauren.

All these relationships spurring up, yeah that includes you Niki, makes me jealoussss. Or I don't even know if that's the right word, but I hella feel gayed out of this whole relationship business since I've been single for a couple of years. Hella over it and wish it were easy to just meet someone who shares the same interests as me. Whatever, I have no time for that shit anyways. I don't even have days off anymore. I just want to know someone is there that needs me, excluding Andrew, and vice versa.

Can You Get Up Off Your Knees

Where the fuck do I begin?

I feel like I haven't been at home in a while. For sure haven't been online in a while.

My Mom finally gave in and got a membership to Sam's Club. I'm pretty stoked about it and I don't know why. Haha. The day I went in to go get my picture, I gave in and bought like 30 dollars worth of stuff and found out they don't fucken take Visa. I had to charge it as a debit, was pissed cause I knew I didn't have that money in my account. Worth it in the end though haha. God I love Arizona Green Tea.

Rave actually gave me overtime on my paycheck. Haha for .08 hours. Meaning I got paid like 76 cents. I'm pretty sure Mr. Winn saw that and flipped a bitch cause overtime is definitely not allowed. ;(( So far it's the biggest paycheck I've gotten from there though. Everyone was like wtf cause I pretty much live there.

Uhhh I remember that on Friday, I went to class about an hour in a half late. Not only did I wake up late, I had to finish my free write essay on this article I read about this lady who fucken shoved her baby in the microwave.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/01/31/baby.microwave.ap/index.html

Disgusting.

I figure that if I brought the essay incomplete, and since I've had this professor from last semester, he just gives it back and doesn't give you full credit. And since I only go once a week, it's a pain in the ass for that kind of ordeal, so I sacraficed my limited absences and tried to get the essay done.

When I got home, I cleaned out my car. I wanted to go get a car wash but I knew that Sunday was going to be raining all day and then I realized I needed to get my oil change. So yay, a good car wash.

I went to Sam's Club afterward and met up with Isaac to sample some food and get a hotdog. Talked for a bit then went home to change and race to work. Pretty much 10 minutes late.

Work was whatever. I got sent home early, even with a fucken 30 minute break. That's bullshit cause wtf, waste of my time. So after, I ended up watching The Eye with Jenna and Janice. Janice had seen the Chinese version and told me about some scenes so I was anticipating that shit in the movie. Honestly, I got scared a couple of times. The way the movie was, there weren't always scenes that were predictable. Jenna was literally hiding the whole time and when she'd be chill and the movie was alright, music was calm, bam, fucken something pops up. Totally fucked up. Loved it.

After work, Janice and I were heading over to the break room and one of our security guards for the theatre tried to kick us out. What a fucken dumb bitch. I was wearing the uniform and she was like wtf, you guys work here? You sure?

Since I demanded for morning shifts, I got them. Except they fucked up and tried to have me close on Friday and go in at 9:30am the next day. Since Friday wasn't as busy as they expected, we hoped Saturday would pick up better business since the Jonas Brothers were in town. Bam, got sent home only 3 hours into my shift. I hate it when Mr. Anderson does that shit. So I got the chance to finally watch Atonement. Excellent movie. Definitely tops Michael Clayton for best motion picture award. Such a sad movie. I was a little envious of the couples around me in the theatre, but at the same time, I laughed at them because the theatre isn't meant for couples and they were all struggling to be close to each other. Hah.

After that, I felt the need to drive to my sister's house and no reason why. Just drove over there. Played some Rock Band and ate pizza. Since I ended up not hanging out with Jessica, I stayed with them. We went over to their friend, Kelly's, and watched the UFC fight with Brock Lesnar. That guy is a fucken monster. He wailed on that guys face like crazy. It was crazy how he was doing all that shit, but just a slight miscalculation and he's tapping out. After that they pulled out Rock Band and all did each instrument, including singing. Shit was funny. I owned their faces at guitar and bass.

Ended up crashing at my sister's house since she's close to work. Played more Rock Band and actually tried the singing shit. Learned that you don't need to know the words but just the melody. Even got my sister to kind of sing. Interesting bonding time we had.

So I get to work and Simone tells me I can't clock in until 9:45. Mind you my shift started at 9am and I get there 10 minutes late anyways. I'm like wtf and stand in the break room thinking fuck that and just clock in. I acted like I didn't know and just went about the theatre doing my duties of an usher and turned off cleaning lights. In the middle of it, Ms. Auciello finds me and is all DID YOU CLOCK IN? I tell her I did and she explains to me how Mr. Winn thinks we're wasting money in having everyone come in so early. So you're gonna have people come in and not clock in for 30-45 minutes later? Yet you're gonna have them be working? Yeah fuck that and fuck you. After I did the cleaning lights, I chilled in the break room with everyone and talked shit for a while. Everyone ended up clocking in anyways.

New douchebag manager, is nicknamed Ratatouille. Kind of sad, but he really does resemble a rat.

Since Ms. Mason was working, I got to stay for my whole shift. The day was chill, except for Ratatouille being such a fucken faggot. Then hopped over to Hollister to work. Jae, the second head stock guy, kind of made a small convo with me. Introduced himself to me even though I've met him before. The first time he met me, he seemed eager but then dropped it when he found out I wasn't Korean. This time, I don't know, but it was weird. Apparently I was the only impact person for the night but was stuck downstairs fixing clothes. I guess the managers got the word that I'm good at detailing shit and putting the sizing stickers on incredibly straight. Meh.

Ended up closing the store hella early cause I fixed everything too fast. Damn me.

Giants won the SuperBowl. Big woop. I really don't care for the SuperBowl.

Visited Neecey, my old co-worker from Prudential. Talked a little and watched a little of this pageant where both the Mom and daughter are running together. Kind of weird.

After I went to go visit Nevielle at her roommates place. I guess she got in a huge fight with her Mom and dipped and has been staying at this house up on Blue Diamond and Durango. It was nice for once not drinking and just talking. We hella got into scary stories and superstitions and all these Asian horror flicks. I kind of scared myself. Finally went home at like 2:30am.

Woke up late today but got to work right on time. So I'm 10 minutes late for the past 3 days but I'm okay today haha.

Got to work with Cory, uhh. Haven't seen his ass for like 2 weeks. It was cool talking to him. Plus I bothered Courtland and finally started talking to Kyle. Cory was tearing down the National Treasure and Sweeney Todd props. He ended up taking the knife and the hand from the Sweeney prop. Fucken when he walked down the hallway with the knife, it reminded me of that Final Fantasy character with the huge sword. I forgot his name.

Since he left early, we fucked up on shit with scheduling and giving breaks. Kind of funny. But at least I got an extra 25 minutes out of it.

After I decided to watch There Will Be Blood. Someone ended up sitting next to me. I think I was only okay with it since the seats are so big but at the same time, i felt not so alone. The movie was really good. I found out the guy from Little Miss Sunshine, the son, was in there. Realized I wanted to watch this movie for a long time because of this crazy sermon he did in this preview I saw. Totally forgot about it. His performance in this movie is crazy and completely different from his other roles in all other movies.

I was thinking to myself on Thursday after philosophy class about the video we watched called Obedience. The Milgram Experiment. Don't know if you guys heard about it, cause the only time I knew of it was when I took PSY101 last semester. The experiment originated right after the Holocaust and it was just to see how far people would go in listening to authority. There would be two people who would come in for this experiment and they'd be paid like $450 to do it. One will be the teacher while the other is the student. Both are in separate rooms and both know what each other has to do. The teacher has to read off a list of words to the student that are in no relation together. So they'll say "sad-girl, sunny-day". Then when they say "sad", they give 4 answers and the student has to say what the matching word is. For every wrong word, the teacher has to read off the volts he's giving and gives a shock to the student. So the student is buckled up to a chair being shocked in another room and for every wrong answer, the shock becomes more severe. At one point during the experiment, the student mentions how they have a heart problem and they need to get the fuck out and they start screaming louder and louder. This is where you notice if the teacher decides to quit the experiment or keeps going. So this is either a make it or break it situation where the teacher can stop and say fuck your money, I don't want that guy to die. The scientist will keep pushing them to keep on with the list of words. In the end you find out that the "student" is actually just an actor fucking with the teacher's head.

Studies showed that out of the 100 people they tested on, 50% of them stayed and gave the maximum deadliest shock until the end. And you also notice how everyone laughs everytime they hear the guy crying out in pain. It was kind of weird but I guess it is true. Then someone re-did the experiment last year. It's somewhere if you dig in the news.

After watching the movie, it just made me think about how I'm at work and when they had me be supervisor. I couldn't take the pressure of them telling me what to do and trying to delegate orders. I just couldn't do it. I could care less if that makes me a bad manager or whatever, but at least I know what my limits are and am not letting someone drag me all over the place.