You Disappoint Me; Maybe You're Better Off This Way

I didn't start this year off very well. Yeah, I'm talking at like 12am New Years Day.

I'm really mad at myself.

I'm really mad at people who make me mad.

I haven't been so down in like a year.

Actually probably a year today.

I don't even know why I'm pushing myself to work so hard.

I almost feel like I'm wasting this break by not spending time with people from out of town. But I know I'm not.
Someone told me this break should be worth enjoying. Time to just sit around and do nothing. I see others literally doing that and I think they're stupid for doing so. But now I'm starting to think I'm the stupid one.

I'm going to be exhausted when school comes around. Am I keeping both jobs? What the hell am I doing?





And I wasn't even supposed to fucken work today. Tomiko called me asking if I could cover for her shift. Mr. Anderson told her to call me. Today was the day I requested off. I was half asleep when she called so I accepted. I was excited to work in box office. Did I? No. I was stuck in concessions. And did I ever get a register? No. I was stuck bagging popcorn for 6 1/2 hours straight, then made nachos for the other hour in a half. I'm pissed. My legs are giving out. I wanted to fucken work in box.

Then I watched my mother and her best friend do drunk karaoke while I ate. I have a headache and am exhausted.

Fuck New Years.