Never Thought About The Shame

I was literally trapped in a box today. Thus, I brought English homework and did it. So I got that accomplished.

I guess there's a meeting tomorrow for just the new supervisors at 8pm cause I suck with my schedule. Woo. Fancy.

So remember Sara? The bitch ass manager from Hollister. Yeah, I almost quit today because of that stupid whore. She was pissed that I went straight to the stock room to work with Jessica cause I didn't check in with her. Blah blah blah. Afterwards she was making the new weeks schedule and asked me about my availability. Like it has been, I'm not available Tues, Thurs, or the weekend. Thus, I work Mon and Wed like how it's been every week, for the past month in a half.

Later on she asks me to check on my schedule to make sure I can work the shift. So I do and see that I'm only scheduled for Mon, one shift. So I ask Sara about why this is and she just SHRUGS. Gives me this bullshit about how based off of my availability, that's why it's like that. And I tell her about that's why I am scheduled Mon and Wed because of it and that's how it's been for the past many weeks. And she just SHRUGS and SMILES and says OH WELL, I'LL KEEP THAT IN MIND FOR LATER ON. Mother fucking cunt. She made the schedule last week and it was fine. She probably noticed she'd be closing with me and didn't want to. It took so much fucking will power to not wring her neck. I made this concerned face. Not happy or sad. Just O_o. Walked away to the stock room and flipped on Jessica. Then I hid in the shelves for like 20 minutes not doing shit. It took so much for me to not walk out of work.

I have to talk to Jared, the general manager. I can't take it anymore. I gotta tell him wtf is up with her and then quit. I'm fucken over that job.

I'm also over Japanese class. Totally failing like a stupid mother fucker. I'm going to have to drop it. Ugh.

I'm so fucking angry yet I'm so happy with how shit's going with Rave. It's like nothing can ever be just great, there's always a balance or just shit.

Well, No Country For Old Men is coming back to my theatre so that makes me happy. So that ups the scale a bit.

Andrew started texting me today and I actually responded. So the scale doesn't move.

My eye infection thing came back. Scale down.

Might have to take some co-workers to the 8:30am meeting on Saturday. Neutral. Only cause they can wake me up since I know I won't. But fuck, 8:30am. And I guess we're watching Vantage Point afterward and then work time for me. Nice how that works out.

Fuck Hollister. They lost all their good managers and is left with some dumb bitch. I fucking hate that place. I'm going to steal their shit and sell it. That's the plan.

On a good note. I actually called and talked to Tiffany and Ron yesterday. Like I straight up talked to them on the phone on my part. It felt nice. It was the first time I did it. I still can't believe how long it took me. But it makes me want to break down and think, wtf kind of friend I am? I never check up on them to see how they're doing. I'm so indulged into my life of work and school. Then again, I don't even give the time of day to my friends in Vegas.

I'm kind of trying to be as independent as possible right now. Trying to earn as much income as I can and saving it. And I don't even know for what. I tell people that I pay for my tuition and car insurance and all this other junk. When in reality, not so much. It's not entirely false, but it's not entirely true either. I just want to know that the money I'm making will go to something important in my future. Whether it be for the place I'll be living in or to fucken whatever. I almost feel like I'm wasting my time at school cause it feels like it's taking forever to get anywhere. Especially with the fact that I don't even know what to do with my life.

Wtf am I talking about? Geezus. My bad.