HIYOOO

I need friends.

I Am Here For You She Said

Why not? I forgot about this thing and wow, it's been a while.

Knowing that Alma has already packed and moved to San Diego is still beyond me. I guess it didn't really hit me that she was moving on with her life and I feel awful for not seeing her again.

I wish I would stop being upset with Alex but some of the things he does and says just make me perturbed.

I really dislike the newest manager we hired but then again, who doesn't? I wish there was a way where all the managers were on the same page and the same level. I dread the times I work with certain people. When I see that schedule every Thursday I just get upset. I wish everyday were like Monday. Work would be so damn peachy with the great managers I work with.

It wasn't until yesterday where I actually felt young. All the managers were discussing if they were going to attend Stoney's that night for a manager's 21st birthday bash. It really hit me that they were all much older than me and I was kind of missing out. I guess I only feel that way since I don't really have any friends at UNLV. Then I started thinking about why I don't hang out with anyone or why I don't have new friends. I literallly go to work, school and spend my time with Alex or Jessica. I guess the reason why I don't push for friendships is because I know I will get upset with them at one point. I don't like putting in the effort if they aren't either.

I pretty much suck as a person and really don't care to hang with anyone. Everything is such a routine with me and when I finally do decide to venture into a plan with someone, it ends up with "What should we do? Oh let's watch a movie!" And there we go, back to my work because I refuse to pay for movies anymore.

Don't get my wrong, I love my job. But I wish there was more to do.

And I guess at this point I should list some movies I did watch cause there is nothing else to blog about.

Revolutionary Road not only made me feel so damn depressed, but it made me think so much about my life. I can't stop thinking how everything is such a damn routine and how I loathe the thought about school and homework. Which by the way I am not doing too well in school. Then it made me think about what am I buying my life into? I am still pondering in what to do for a major. How long am I going to be staying at Rave? Will I ever have a voice and speak up when need be? WELL - Overall, the acting was just amazing in the movie. Michael Shannon will be your favorite character in the movie. He really sets the movie into motion and stirs up a lot of emotions.

The Unborn. It is unfortunate because I was seriously thinking this was going to be a scary movie. When I first viewed the trailer I was more than disturbed by the old man crab walking around. Maybe the volume for the movie was not loud enough because the jump scenes should have been a lot louder in my opinion. Maybe my theatre sucked at that. Or maybe my hearing is seriously depleting because of all the shows and loud music I listen to. Who knows. But I do know that this movie was nowhere near my expectations and it upset me.

Slumdog Millionaire is probably the most basic and typical story you'll see. Though, the movie was just so great in so many ways. It digs deep where you really feel for the main character. The movie is so easily likeable and will continue to be. I didn't know what I was getting into but that was a gosh darn great movie.

Bridewars was pretty predictable and such a chick flick. Problem is, I like chick flicks and this one was not one I was into at all.

Doubt kept me wondering who was in the wrong throughout the film. They finally took the whole problem of priests touching little boys and put it on the big screen with big time actors like Philip Seymour Hoffman and Meryl Streep. Though it was more to it. What if the priest really didn't do anything to the kid? Or what if he did?

Twilight had me going with the improbable love story, but I dug it. Not so much the stalking and Edwards acting, but I dug it.

Hot Rod was probably the most ridiculous and dumbest movie I have ever seen. Although, Andy Samberg's SNL skit of "I Jizzed In My Pants" is a lot better. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6I5XXFqOUyA

War Of The Worlds. I know, I finally watched it. And you know what? That shit happens. Yeah obviously not with aliens, but when Katrina happened, that's what everyone did. They freaked the fuck out and rioted everywhere. They were only out for their own lives disregarding everyone else even though they were going through the same thing as they were. The reason why I didn't watch the movie before was that it didn't interest me and everyone told me what was out to get them. I'm glad Alex forced me to watch it. The ending was a bit too sudden but the movie portrayed exactly what people would do in a crazed situation. (This is why I liked Cloverfield) People are always looking for the oh my god sequences, I never would have thought that and crazy endings. But if you really look at why or how they made the movie and how it is portrayed, then you would understand and thoroughly enjoy it.

My Bloody Valentine 3D was exactly what I was expecting. The basic cheesy, gory horror flick. The previews made it seem cheesy and that's what audiences should be looking for. I don't understand why how people are getting upset with how it wasn't realistic or how this and that. The makers knew what their intentions were when making/remaking this film and they went with it. The only thing that bothered me was that it felt like the movie lasted quite a while but overall pretty hilarious.

Zach and Miri Make A Porno is awesome. It's a Kevin Smith film, so nuff' said.

Role Models was a lot better than I expected it to be. I don't there was at any point where I stopped laughing. And I have definitely found a new love for Paul Rudd. He has always been a somewhat dull supporting character for a different kind of comedic relief. He's that character that everyone remembers of but never knows his name. I feel that he finally cleared up his name with this movie that he is one hilarious person.

The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button was such a great long movie. It just told a story one man and his life. How he dealt with his problem and how he affected others along the way.

Marley And Me was definitely not a kids film. I won't lie either. I bawled like a little bitch in that movie. I'm sure everyone knows by now what happens, but no joke, it was really depressing.

The Spirit was awesome by the way. I know everyone hated it but maybe it's because they don't have the kid in them anymore. The dialogue and characters were definitely beyond cheesy and way over the top. But that's the whole point. It reminded me of Looney Tune cartoons and how melodramatic everything was. That's what the movie was. If you can't appreciate that, then don't bother to watch it. Besides that, there were other little things in the movie that made you really pay attention to which made it even more fun to watch.

Those were the big ones that I can think of or that were fresh in my mind. I'll possibly be watching the horrid Uninvited and see how much they butchered The Tale Of Two Sisters with that and The Reader.

I Don't Know How... But They Found Me

Heh, I forgot about this blog. So I guess the only update from the last blog is, I did get that promotion. Not quite the raise yet because corporate is a piece of shit. So far it doesn't seem like I'm wow-ing my general manager, but wow-ing my other managers. Well I know Mr. Winn is very subtle and not keen on celebrating anything, so I guess that's good enough for me. Plus I'm getting over 40 hours a week with overtime, so I R HAPPEH.

Yeah, I have a boyfriend that I've kept secret about for several months only because work relations is not fond of obviously. But I kind of just didn't tell anyone about it period. Why? I don't know. I don't like discussing my personal life when contact is lost with everyone.

I finally bought myself a laptop that I ended up exchanging at the end of the month because Spore wouldn't work on it. And low and behold, this one I just got in exchange does not charge when I plug in the adapter. Yay.

So my mom is taking a month vacation to California starting the 8th. So I have the condo all to myself. Life is good. Then for the week of Thanksgiving, I have to house-sit for my sister while she's out of town. Surround sound Rock Band will be excellent.

This weather is so amazing.

Oh, Hoobastank was pretty cool on Thursday. Haven't seen them in years. Wish I had my camera.

Linkin Park tomorrow though. If it weren't for Alma, I wouldn't have known about this free concert.

Btw, I am sucking at this semester. I kind of don't really care about school right now. Reason may be the fact that I still don't know what the fuck I want to do and it's such a drag just forcing myself to go there. Plus I hate English.

Alex, the boyfriend, has already looked up some apartments. I guess it was weird for me to even comprehend that because it was never something I thought about, looked into or even considered anytime soon. But then I realized I'm 19. I kind of planned to just finish college before I move since I'm paying for everything and etc. And I figured I'd be moving out with Jessica. I kind of just included her into the future plans anyways.

Oh and what makes me happy is seeing Andrew's faxes to our office from Dollar Loan Center. :]

Start Everyday With A Smile. Get It Over With. - Mr. Anderson

There's just so much to say. So much going on. There's no beginning and no end to what's been happening in the past 2-3 months that I haven't blogged about. Work has completely taken over my life and has affected me in the most negative way possible. I've never been so irritated, hurt and stressed out in my life before. But I can't stop. I can't quit. As much as I want to, I just can't.

Slowly I'm losing touch with myself and I can't get out of this huge hole I've put myself into. I miss my friends. I miss being lazy. I miss sleeping. I miss having a life.

I just want to be appreciated. I want that promotion. I want that raise. I want a lot but it's going at such a slow pace, I don't know if I have the patience for it anymore. Fuck though, I want it badly.

One by one they're getting ill and here I am, selfish me, working 80 hours a week to keep focused and block anything else non-work related out.

I feel like I'm using him as well. Maybe as a safety net or a comfort zone just so I don't have to go home and feel guilty about every time I just walk in straight to my room, then pass out. Why I don't take the time to just sit down and talk to her.

Why am I the way I am right now? What made me this way? Do I blame work? Do I just blame myself for changing my ways?

I don't even know what I want exactly. What I want to do. Should I even go? I'm just wasting money. Countless dollars being put towards some goal that I can't quite achieve because I haven't chosen a path yet. Why am I so indecisive?

Being 19 has only made me feel older than I should be. More exhausted, strained and useless. More like a robot who can't stop what I'm programmed to do.

Ludeness with a 14 year old girl or younger

For some reason that keeps replaying in my head when my CRJ teacher was talking about sex offenders today. We were looking at the Nevada sex offender's website where you can enter in your zip code and it shows you if they're in your area. But for some reason, most of the people on there were convicted of ludeness with a young teen.

Anyways. I decided to make a list of goals to do by summer's end, and one of them is to do some serious cleaning. Like get rid of shit that I really don't need. I have to learn to throw shit away that I don't need at all. I kind of want to toss out furniture too.

So while I took a break from cleaning, I got caught up in MySpace and started looking at the connections of my co-workers to people I actually know. Then it got to people from the graduating class of Spring Valley. For some reason, it made me really happy to see some people are still coupled and look happier than ever. Seriously, if people can come out of high school and still be going strong, props to them. But then I thought about how they go to the same college, so then I thought, maybe that's the only reason why.

Then I saw how several people turned out to be major party go-ers and drunks. It just reminded me of this article I saw in the Rebel Yell about how companies look at the applicant's MySpace's and Facebook's and base their decision off of what they see. So it just makes me wonder if these people will get anywhere with all their fucked up pictures plastered all over the internet. And low and behold, they're either not going to college or they're going to CSN. These were the kids who were known for their achievements in sports or popularity. Makes me wonder about what direction I'm headed to since I still have not a clue.

Take Only What You Need From Me

Micro SD USB adapter is my savior. Yeeee.

I forgot about Crista's birthday :x

I got a stiletto from David for my birthday. One of those knives that when you push a button, it flips out. I'm scared that one day I'm going to slip and fall onto it.

If you want to watch a comedy in theatres as of now, watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It tops Harold and Kumar and Baby Mama to the extreme.

Ariel called me and apologized. It was most awkward. But I guess we're friends again. It's been like half a year to a year of no conversation with her.

My GM decided to let the employees view big movies prior to the actually release of it. So this Thursday at 9:30am I'll be watching Iron Man. Chyeaaaaa. I'm excited cause I hate sitting in crowded theatres.

My sister has been here for the past 5-6 days and it's been dreadful. I can never find where my things are. But I guess at least my room is clean.

I don't really blog in here mainly because I've actually been doing it by hand. More like first thoughts or about things that puzzle me at the time. It's nice to carry a notebook everywhere I go and when something pops up in my head, I can write it down.

My neighbors upstairs woke me up to this beat. I followed it and felt it was a good tune until someone started singing. :(

Okay I hope this entry was meaningless enough.

I Fly Like Paper Get High Like Planes

Who got a new job? I did.

I blew them away with my mad typing skillz. I was kind of surprised I didn't get type shy and broke 100wpm. So pewpew points for me. Not sure exactly what I'm going to be getting paid but for sure $10/hr cause of my last realty job. Looks like they're willing to pay me more because I have to travel so far to get to them. But yeah, I'm super stoked. Maybe it was a good thing I waited this long to get a job. Chyea.

Oh and I'm super pro at making spam musubi's now. I'm super happy with being able to make something now.

I actually have some music on my phone only because of Noel's bluetooth on his computer. I'm wasting hella money on sd cards and adapters that don't even work. Oh well.

I watched Forbidden Kingdom twice in one day. Not like I wanted to.. more like forced. Good movie though. Surprised me since I wasn't planning on watching it.

So now I have to pull some more skillz again like I always do and get my against capital punishment out of the way by 8:30am tomorrow.

Oh and I got pulled over the other day after my friend was saying how he read his horoscope and how it said to be beware of the law. I was lucky that it was just my tags that were expired and not for some other ticket. Funny how I just paid off my ticket earlier that day. Apparently you can pay it over the phone which is wonderful. Oh and I almost got into an accident yesterday cause people are extremely impatient and decided to go at the last minute. I was so upset and I had my family in the car with me. So yeah I'm not really feeling the whole driving thing these past few days, but at least nothing major is happening.